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Apr 16, 2021
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Nearly Was Last Journey
As life flows like a river
the banks of the river also give way.
no boatmen dare come closer
as much as to share
a minuscule hand of love
Life gradually surges
the speed of the heart hastens
is the estuary yet far away
someone say
mind beckons
the river of love
hastens
to merge with its mummy ocean
do they merge tonight
let us see
come besides me
About This Poem
Last Few Words: At times we wonder whether 'tis our last
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
c lynn brooks
4 years 3 months ago
lovedly
would the third line read better as
no boatmen dare come closer ?
there is much inuendo in your poem
lovedly
4 years 3 months ago
why inuendo do you say
Lynn
however amended the line
you r a
good mentor for me
thanks
lovedly
Gracy
4 years 3 months ago
Hi, lovedly, I like poems
Hi, lovedly, I like poems about rivers that flow and all the imagery in your poem. I just wonder about using "mummy ocean"? Is it meant for a child?
No other nits, enjoyed, Gracy
lovedly
4 years 3 months ago
Hello Gracy
no not really last time I said
mom
someone said
why not say mummy
poetry and poets
quite often appear silly
wee wee wee
what can de we
lol
Gracy ma'am
that's all