In Moment's Spent Desire

I lie upon your cooling breasts,
desire's rhythm spent, yet still held
within your warmth, your heated breath;
your fingers smooth along my skin,
then you softly say: "I've never
felt this, before today."

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Comments

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Thanks Shirl,

Glad you liked it.

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

LMAO

Yes, ma'am!
heehee that was funny.
This is my second passion poem in compliment form, as per Jonathon's devisement of the form, and I really do like the structure - short, simple, and pretty powerful.
Actually, I do have a freeform piece I'm working on right now that will almost certainly qualify for REAL criticism, heehee, but it's still not finished: a day or two more, I think, before I post it.
Thanks Chrys - for making me laugh, and for your kind opinion of my poems.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Jim

it is never easy to capture a moment quite like this one and give it justice with words...that said, you did it my friend.

Sometimes less is more.

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Hooded,

Thank you so much.
I have to say, it is usually quite hard for me, writing about such things, mainly because I take so long to say them, lol, then have to edit, cut, crunch and smash my way down to something that is readable.
But, with this compliment form of Jonathon's, I find it easier to encapulate the meaning right from the start. A little counter-intuitive, I know, but it works well for me.
It occurs to me, as well, that this form might be useful in the writing of lyrics, since the form forces one into a certain cadence, one that I think would lend itself well to songs.
But then, I'm just a poet, not a songwriter, lol.

Thanks again,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Compliment Form

Jim,

I haven't used the form mainly because I am not sure that it will be of any benefit to me, especially since I only ever use one word titles...I just always have and don't feel the need to change.

I may give it a go but to be honest it doesn't excite me at all. I hope it works for others who need a new form and I will be checking out people's attempts at it. Hopefully it will become a competition. I don't do competitions either!! Lol!...stuck in my old ways!!

Thanks anyway,

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Hooded,

I was thinking more of the meter in the body of the form, rather than the title. Since it's structure is so rigid, I thought that it might lend itself to the accompaniment of musical beat and rhythym, that's all.