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OH
Owl Has My Soul
Sep 13, 2021 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the challenge:

Neopoet Random Challenge 7

(Read More...)

No Juice or Jam (Running on Empty Challenge)

I am hungry but my
Meal hides in the moment.

Fear siphons power to play
War games without consent.

I am bunkered in the crippling confines
of a broken nervous system.

Why can't I lift Thor's hammer
To forge an escape?

Worthiness requires capacity
In this callous world.

God I'm so tired!
Freeze to survive is what I do.

A breath tips me forward,
Please don't trip.
This fucking treadmill !

I am starving but my
Salvation hides in the moment.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Canada, BC

More from this author

Comments

O

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 9 months ago

Thanks Mark, I agree.

Thanks Mark, I agree. Punctuation added :-)

I changed "Frigid" to "Infernal" in line 3

and "cold" to "callous" in line 8.

I felt that "Freeze" in line 10 should not have competition with previous words.

Obadiah Grey

Obadiah Grey

3 years 9 months ago

Somewhat redolent of "The Who

Somewhat redolent of "The Who" lyrics!
Its a side step from the norm,
non of it makes any sense whatsoever
and yet,,,,,,,,,,,,, it works!

Well done mate.

Obi.

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 9 months ago

I like the...

down the rabbit-hole approach to the challenge. Like Alice on steroids, it charges ahead with electricity from the treadmill.
~Geezer.
.

Obadiah Grey

Obadiah Grey

3 years 9 months ago

Hiya mate.

Hiya mate.

Just a thought, but you might try leaving the original posting of the piece as it is, then, post any alterations/edits in the comments section, that way a reader can follow the evolution of it,,,,,,, just a thought !

Obi.

O

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 9 months ago

Thanks Mark

Might be close...

Gotta say I appreciate the support and guidance of this site.

O

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 9 months ago

Hey Obi

I posted and early version below -- for a more thorough play by play, readers can click Revisions and get the full monty, yeah?

O

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 9 months ago

Early version

I am hungry but my
Meal hides in the moment

Frigid memory traps
Circle my glass house

Can’t lift the war hammer
To let myself out

Capacity equals worthiness
This cold cruel world

God I’m fucking tired!
Freeze to survive is what I do.

Pray and breathe deep until
I lean and stumble forward
On the treadmill.

O

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 9 months ago

A more recent version

I am hungry but my
Meal hides in the moment.

Fear siphons power to play
War games without consent

Bunkered in the crippling confines
of a broken nervous system

Can't lift Thor's hammer
To forge an escape.

Worthiness requires capacity
In this callous world.

God I'm so tired!
Freeze to survive is what I do.

A breath tips me forward,
Please don't trip.
This fucking treadmill !

I am starving but my
Salvation hides in the moment