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Nov 10, 2021
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The Abyss
The Abyss is tame
I do not fear the abyss
And it does not fear me
Many times,
We drink whiskey together
And talk about old times
I've watched the abyss bury my friends
Such talent
Such remorse
One day the abyss will come for me
And I will welcome it with open arms
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
3 years 11 months ago
The pace...
is very somber and somewhat profound.~ Geezer.
.
c lynn brooks
3 years 11 months ago
very dark
I am not a fan of using the word abyss so many times may I suggest something like
line 2 I do not fear it
I've watched that scoundrel bury etc etc
otherwise not bad
a warm Neo Poet welcome to you
cathy mccormick
3 years 11 months ago
i like this. i agree on not
i like this. i agree on not using word abyss so much. i would just use the word it. i would love to see you add lines maybe
i stare at it
it stares at me
give a nod to nietzsche (sorry i know it is misspelled)
Owl Has My Soul
3 years 11 months ago
I agree with the above.
I agree with the above. Maybe experiment by only using the word abyss in the title. In the body use "it" or other references to really draw out the stark mood. I do think it is worthy of adding some more lines as well...