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Nov 13, 2021
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Spider's Last Dance
Sipping my coffee on a crisp
but sunny fall morning, I noticed a brown spider
hanging from a single thread
attached to an awning in our back yard
It wasn’t moving, possibly waiting
for its next meal to wander into its web
somewhere above. Being so still,
I became curious and reached out
to stir the gossamer strand
The spider, still unmoving, was gone
Gone to wherever spiders go
when they are done being what they are
As I thought about the way it left the world,
hanging from the single thread it had spun
I was struck by the melancholy of my thoughts
towards this eight-legged creature
Looking beyond the sadness I felt,
maybe it knew it was time to go
Maybe it simply wanted a lovely view
at the end of its time here
Perhaps a final celebration
for having not been devoured
by a world so full of brigands,
predators and vampires
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Arachnid melancholia - who knew this was a thing??? LOL!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Catherine DeGear
3 years 8 months ago
Spider's Last Dance
The observational quality of the poem, kept ever so simple: sitting at the table suddenly noticing a spider hanging on a thread all the way through to realizing the spider was dead (how many people would take the time to even check?!) is excellent. Also liked the way the poem moves between the spiders death and the reaction it provokes, particularly the willingness to not just look at it a negative but more of a passing of a life because life does pass, in every form it takes. Pacing is just fine. I really enjoyed it.
Catherine
Michael Anthony
3 years 7 months ago
Thank you CD! Glad this
Thank you CD! Glad this worked for you.
Cheers
Triskelion
3 years 6 months ago
Thank you Catherine
I read this piece a few times and must have skimmed over the things you pointed out.
Michael,
Not sure why, but for a critique, (and totally subjective) I think it needs a little more showing to complement the telling.
I can't help but think this is metaphorical, but you seem to leave that choice to the reader, which is good. I think of how "tiger,tiger" does the same.
Thomas