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My Christmas Friend... Random Challenge # 10
My Christmas Friend...
Christmas morning
looking sad and bleak
Outside my window
the snow turns to sleet
My sad and little Christmas tree
ceramic green and lit
gives off a somber glow
doesn't cheer me a little bit
One present, to myself
a caramel apple sweet
sits there, oh so very lonely
I don't have an urge to eat
A movement outside the window
small, grey and snowed on...white
moves slowly, shaking, cold
something isn't right
I watch the squirrel creep slowly
across the yard and fall
I grab my coat and hat
Move quickly down the hall
Black eyes watch with resignation
about to meet his doom
I pick him up and he's shaking
I take him back into my room
Wrapped in a towel by the fireside
he falls asleep at last
I make another cup of tea
warm the bits of my breaking-fast
The smell of toast fills the air
I see his nose give a twitch
I think he's going to make it
"I'll be a son of a bitch!"
Now, cozied up and warm we are
we lay upon the bed
I feed him caramel apple
and stroke his little head
His tree lies broken from the storm
he needs a place to stay
We pass the time watching movies
I've got a friend on Christmas Day
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 7 months ago
Thanks for the read
and critique. You showed me the need for a pause, but I think a comma is better, instead of a hyphen.
I chose [breaking fast] in order to keep the rhythm. Breakfast seems to keep the line from
having that. ~ Geez.
.