Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 09, 2022
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Coffee With My Ex
"Why did it end that way?" she asked
when we spoke some years later
Two cups in we agreed
We couldn't find our way back
to who we wanted to be
It’s like our patched-up hearts
The bandages do come off
but they will never be the same
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Some notes on closure.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Ray Whitaker
3 years 5 months ago
This resonated with me
'Course I do have an ex....
Taking two cups of coffee to arrive at an agreement that it's a good thing that they both are "ex's"... connotes to me that one of the pair might be wishing for different.
Good that these two are at least talking. Maybe. Could be just invoking the passion that once existed.
Geezer
3 years 5 months ago
I am...
with Ray, in the thought that one or maybe both of them might be wishing that things had been different. If that isn't the intent, I would change "who we used to be" to [what used to be]. I never asked either of my two exes, why? [I guess maybe the answer I got, wouldn't be what I wanted to hear] or maybe she would think that I was interested in a reconciliation. Your title is good, the rhythm and pattern very good and it seems logical and well done from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
.