Candlewitch

Mar 15, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Marking Time part #1

sixteen was she
just twenty-three,
on the make was he
they felt the breeze
that blew from off the lake
she hugged her knees
tightly to her chest
he liked her smile and laugh.
of the other girls there,
it was no contest.
nut brown was his tan
his eyes a bright blue.
he asked her out on the spot,
him not knowing he was in the running
for her attention and affection.
clearly things were about to get hot.
previously engaged to a '69 Ford Mustang
who's owners eyes were brown
and body had gone AWOL.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this was written about my first husband. I married him at age 18. knew him for most of my life. he died about 5 years ago in a traffic accident. his name was Jerry (Gerald Joseph Rogers)

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

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Comments

Geezer

3 years 4 months ago

This reminds...

me of myself and my first wife. We were just a little older, [she was a little over a year older than me, and I was 19], but the circumstances were pretty much the same. I liked the line,
''Previously engaged to a 69 Ford Mustang whose owner's eyes were brown, and body had gone AWOL." Good stuff! ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 4 months ago

thanks Geez,

when the guy I was engaged to went Awol, I took the diamond to his mother to give back. (he was in hiding) she despised me, so she was glad to be rid of me. I wasn't a liar, much to blunt for her tastes. during that time I met Jerry and his dog "Blatz". he didn't know it but he was in love. yes, the dog, Jerry would follow suit later, lol.

I'm glad this brought back pleasant memories for you. thank you for telling me a bit of your story/history would love to hear more.

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

3 years 4 months ago

I think that maybe...

that story could be a part of "The East Main Street Stories" although, technically it didn't take part until about 4-5 years later and weren't really on East Main St. but still in Amsterdam. I'll think on it. Hugs, ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear Geez,

you've lost me...I'm not sure what you are talking about?

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

My series...

about my preteen to 14-15 yrs. old. I wrote a series about life on East Main Street; incidents that stick out in my mind. They are all marked East Main St. series. You might find them interesting. Hugs from Geez and the boys.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thanks Geez,

I'll check them out later in the week, when I have some "sane" time. please remind me, I have CRS (can't remember shit)

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

Absolutely!...

I can't remember a lot of stuff these days either. I have a little notation board that originally was to be like a calendar that you can write things on with an erasable marker; it has turned into a magnetic kind of thing, [the calendar is useless as I keep forgetting to change the month and even the year]. and there is little room to write anything on, except MIP [most important things.] LOL. Yes, I will remind you later on in the week. ~ Big hugs, Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thanks, Geez,

I appreciate it!

*hugs, Cat