Poetess

Hidden behind the angels’ veneer
Runs a tortured mind deep inside
Curses, spells and evil deeds
Twist and swirl in a darkness redesigned

Masked beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps anger, poison and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate

She can’t hold it back
She can’t fight it anymore
Every word turns from the light into black

She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of beauty and finesse
To share feelings of love and romance
and lose the words that can only serve to depress

She wants to write and become a poetess
Expressing words of grace and finesse
To paint images with shades of colour
And find a way to keep her demons suppressed

She can’t hold it back
She can’t take it anymore
Every word of innocence becomes attack

Cloaked behind the angels’ face
Boils a sinister corrupted brain
Evil deeds, curses and spells
Grind and bind in a torment of pain

Concealed beneath the angel’s smile
Seeps poison, anger and bile
Words sharpened to penetrate
Weighted to desecrate

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Edited to create a lyrical structure.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Candlewitch, Eddy Styx, Ziggy

Comments

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear One,

it is so very nice to meet you! welcome to Neopoet where we share our poetry with other like-minded folks. I loved your poem, it is spectacular. you are a wordsmith of the first order! I want to read more of your work, yes, I am greedy, lol. this is a finely crafted piece of work, to say the least. the poetess, from her description, I think I know her. keep writing!!!

my favorite lines are:
She can’t hold it back
She can’t fight it anymore
Every word turns from the light into black
She can’t hold it back
She can’t take it anymore
Every word of innocence becomes attack

*hugs, Cat

One

3 years 3 months ago

Cat

Dear Cat,

thank you for being the first to comment on my work.

I appreciate your comment & look forward to reading you & commenting accordingly. I hope to find some Eddy Styx on my journey.

Regards

One

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

Sounds like...

the last evil woman that 'Killer' dated! Wow, this could be a song, all it needs is a chorus. I like the staggered rhyme and the flow is great. Your theme is good and flows well from beginning to end. Welcome to Neo. I hope that you find a niche here and enjoy the company and comradery. ~ Geezer.
.

One

3 years 3 months ago

Gee

Gee,

thanks for reading & commenting & for being my guide.

It can be altered quite easily to become a lyric with some changing of the positions of the verses.

How does this read: