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Mar 21, 2022
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Pluviophile
I stand upon the verge overlooking the sea
I have not come here for the view
I have come for the rain to wash away all that haunts me
To take me to another place where I can be free
I stand on the precipice watching the waves
I have not come here for the scene
I have come for the rain to cleanse all that torments me
Float me to another land where I can breathe
Rainstorm fall down into my face
Drench me with your drops of purity
Crystal tears cover me
Let me see with clarity
Rainfall pour down onto my skin
Soak me with your drops of clarity
Heaven’s tears cover me
Let me feel with purity
I stand upon the edge overlooking the coast
I have not come here for the view
I have come for the rain to wash away all that hurts me
To send me to another land where I can be free
I stand upon the precipice watching the surf
I have not come here for the scene
I have come for the rain to cleanse all that disturbs me
Drift me to another place where I can breathe
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Went for a long walk up what is know locally as Holyhead Mountain. It rained! Got to the top & nobody else had been foolish enough to make the ascent. I had the view of Holyhead all to myself & the ambient silence of the world. Out came the pen & this was the result. It needs work but I'm interested in what you guys think so I can improve it. Thanks.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear One,
I observe: your body is free (from disease, from addiction, from affliction) but it is your mind which is in torment and aching for freedom. you are persistent, yet humbled in your pursuit of this blessing. I hope you find peace from whatever it is that faintly haunts you. when I was a teen, I loved to walk in the rain. but I wasn't alone...I had my transistor radio with me. great poem!
now rain just hurts my bones, lol!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
One
3 years 3 months ago
Sis,
indeed the body is well but the mind is afflicted with pain & torment. I should have kept the poem 'nice' since the place I was in whilst writing was tranquil & beautiful but you know me, I like to turn things around.
Imagine Eddy writing a poem about the summer with flowers & birds!! LOL!
Thanks for the read & comment,
regards
One
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear One,
you write whatever you damned well feel like writing! we will be grateful and delighted to get it! eddy writing about such stuff, LOL...he says he will try LOL! this I gotta see!
I use meditation and self-hypnosis for pain. do you know about these methods? I hate that you are in pain! I use it when I just can't shut my mind down.
love, Sis
One
3 years 3 months ago
Sis,
I am unable to meditate as I can't calm myself down in order to do so. I find relaxing difficult so am like a coiled spring all the time. Losing myself in music helps me to disconnect. Noise-cancelling earphones gives me a new place to settle.
regards
One
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear Bro,
yes, both music and writing are good therapy.
love, Sis
Ray Whitaker
3 years 3 months ago
I had to look the title up
it was a new word for me. T'was curious...
I like the four line stanzas, they work to convey the thoughts in each. if you'd chosen fine lines or six, I suspect these would have worked well also, however the four liners work well [for me]
I would like to see more "wet" imagery.
Seems like a great start on a longer piece.... i felt like you had much more to say here.
One
3 years 3 months ago
Ray
went for four liners to make it easier to vocalise as this is going to be a song.
Wet imagery...you got it! I'll write the next one in the shower! LOL!
It is a great word & describes me perfectly.
I appreciate the read & comment my friend
regards
One