I'm Emotionally Broken

I am emotionally broken and angered
a boy beast pounced like a bird of prey
on a feminine skin with heavy
punch on her eye lid she bleeds

I'm emotionally instigated
trouble awakes with fearless ambition
causing nuisances and
stirring war of attrition

I'm emotionally outraged
this attempt of molestation
a stage fight against a woman
shall never go scot free

I'm emotionally disappointed
our own is now against us
our own is now hunting us
our own is now bet to fight

I'm emotionally stabbed
beyond forgiving
this threat of life
is now ripened

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo, Wole soyinka, Maya Angelou, W.H. Longfellow, John Milton, W.B. Yeat.

Comments

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear Jack,

in this line: I'm emotionally outrageous I think you mean (outraged)
these lines effected me the most:

I'm emotionally disappointed
our own is now against us
our own is now hunting us
our own is now bet to fight

*hugs, Cat

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Yes

You are on point. I'm changing it right away
Thank you so much Cat

RoseBlack

3 years 3 months ago

Hi Jack

This piece is emotionally charged. A brave and well written expression of an ongoing issue that is all too often minimized. Well done.

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Infinite thanks RoseBlack for

Infinite thanks RoseBlack for reading through. It's a current issue right now. My only sister was terribly beaten by a cousin.

RoseBlack

3 years 3 months ago

My pleasure

This is a problem that seems all to 'normal' in today's world. Revictimizing the victim has become acceptable. The very reasons why domestic violence victims don't speak up. Raising awareness is the only way to make progress

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Exactly

You nailed it. That's plain truth RoseBlack! Thank you for the analysis.

Ray Whitaker

3 years 3 months ago

Wow!

So appealing to one's place in emotion. So cleverly written! This not only struck a nerve, in me, it pushed me as well into thinking about the distance in our lives.