Candlewitch

Apr 08, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Beloved (for: Steven, my mate)

Beloved...
for: Steven

be calmed...
my beating heart
finds tranquility,
within viewing
the crags and lines
of his beloved face,
for he is
as the dawn to me.
a light,
that promises life
a new morning
of discoveries
in an otherwise
mundane existence.
he is the universe
I subscribe to,
he crowns
my actuality
with all the glory
of his composition.
because of him
I am immortal,
burning with
the fire of the brightest star,
potent as combustion
in an infinite firmament!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Exquisite !

This is pure adoration given to someone whose creative value has enlightened your life in one way. What a lovely creativity!

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

hey Jack,

he is my first reason for living. poetry is my second love. thank you so much for reading and responding!

*hugs, Cat

Jackweb

3 years 3 months ago

Exquisite !

This is pure adoration given to someone whose creative value has enlightened your life in one way. What a lovely creativity!

Ray Whitaker

3 years 3 months ago

Love as a theme

So good to write about. It would be difficult to read anything but a caring, gentle space in what you wrote. Congratulations on finding someone like you have!

I have never been terribly fond of the short lines, and that is just me. Lots of folk write in the short lines. I have some difficulty getting my point made except in more words in a line.

Yiu piece flows very well, and I like it!

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thank you Ray,

the short line just works for me in some poems. in others I like a longer line. thank you for reading and giving me your honest opinion. I appreciate that very much!

*hugs, Cat

One

3 years 3 months ago

Sis,

yup!,

you nailed it. No critique, Steve would kill me!!...& possibly eddy!

Perfect!

One

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear Bro,

thank you for your support , and the joke, LOL to tell the truth, he is embarrassed by the poem. I miss you, where have you been? don't stay away so long!

*love, Sis

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

You have...

hit a mark here, with anyone who has ever purely loved another. I will just have to steal the word that Jack Webb used, to describe my feelings about this piece. Exquisite! ~ Hugs, from the boys. ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

thank you Geezer,

for reading and commenting...he is the light in my life. it took me 30 years and 3 marriages to find him. when I quit looking, that is when I found him. he is a bit myopic, he thinks he is the lucky one, LOL

*hugs, Cat