Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Race_9togo
Race_9togo
Apr 10, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Light of Dawn

Standing in the Sacred Light
transforms our lives with joyous understanding
where darkness has no place or form,

For in the growing warmth just after dawn
how can there be a doubt or apprehension
Standing in the Sacred Light

where consequence and sin are drawn
from doubtful soul by the redemption
where darkness has no place or form

To strip us of the hallowed cleansing morn
given us by truth of Love’s ascension
Standing in the Sacred Light

as our tired lives in peace transform
through joy of our creator’s intention
where darkness has no place or form.

We often suffer the ignorance of others’ scorn
for they know not the purity of comprehension
standing in the Sacred Light
where darkness has no place or form.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 2 months ago

Well done...

the first Easter poem of the season!
Nice job! It knew the intent right away.
Your title is spot on, and the language use is very good.
I enjoyed the almost sing-song rhythm and it added to the
ethereal charm. Very good! ~ Geez.
.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

3 years 2 months ago

Hey thanks Gee,

I know what you mean about the sing-song quality. Villanelles tend to bring that out.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear Race,

I love how you alternated the last line of each section. very classy to be sure. it is nice to see you posting poems again.

*hugs, Cat

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

3 years 2 months ago

Thanks Cat,

That alternating last line is what makes the villanelle unique, imo. It leds a poem focus and structure, and a certain harmony.
Glad that you enjoyed it.

Jackweb

Jackweb

3 years 2 months ago

Excellent!

Very interesting piece. Well understandable. Good to see you again Race.

Ray Whitaker

Ray Whitaker

3 years 2 months ago

WELL DONE!

i really like this sort of poetry, like the three line stanzas, like the content and the way you presented it.

Only one suggestion: make the last stanza a three liner.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

3 years 2 months ago

Thanks Ray.

Glad you enjoyed this.
I cannot make the last verse a 3-liner, because the rules require that it be a quatrain.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

3 years 1 month ago

hi Ray,

I sure can. Here's a link to a page that explains the villanelle:
https://poets.org/glossary/villanelle

The villanelle is basically a poem of five three-line tercets and a quatrain at the end.
The first and third lines of the first verse are the refrain. These lines alternate as the last line of the subsequent four verses, and then are used as the last two lines of the final verse, the quatrain. In each verse, there are alternating lines that must rhyme, as well.
Its a highly structured form of poetry that I have come to like very much. It forces me to think rhyme, refrain, and structure, all packed into a relatively small poem, all at once.
You should give it a try, its fun, challenging, and the results can be awesome.
Hope this helps!

S

scribbler

3 years 2 months ago

Hi

As I read it I knew it was a certain form but didn't know which it is. The message is correct in its premise for WHO can stand in the forest as the sun rises and Not believe?