Neopoem Of The Week May 15-22, 2022

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MY MOTHER

The greatest in the realm of gods& goddesses
the supreme one in the kingdom of dieties
the brooding hen that chases away the vultures of death from its chicks

The hands of love that wash away
the mould of mockery
the eyes of compassion that give the sunshine of forgiveness

Faithful as a snail is to its shell
You are the sun, I'm the moon
in your light, I got life

You are love, not the flame of phileo
but the real ambassador of agape
the unquenchable fire of unconditional love
the inexhaustible fountain of fortune

The epitome of beauty;
aesthetic ebony of Africa
beauty within; not superficial
white as snow is the goodwill of your heart

My body of conveyance to the realm terrestrial
the girdle that guards& guides me in the famished road of this cosmos
the mind that travels with me in this land of darkness.

Dunni Ebenco

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: South West/ Nigeria

Comments

Obadiah Grey

3 years 1 month ago

Hiya, bimbo.

Hiya, bimbo.
Nice to meet you!

I just love this African poetry, its a world away from the structured, staid, norm.

Obi.

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

hello,

The greatest in the realm of gods& goddesses (needs a space after & and gods)
the girdle that guards& guides me in the famished road of this cosmos (missing space after "guards")

I liked these lines best:
My body of conveyance to the realm terrestrial
the girdle that guards& guides me in the famished road of this cosmos
the mind that travels with me in this land of darkness.

I liked your title, and language usage.

*always, Cat

Dunni Ebenco

3 years ago

Noted... Thank you,

Noted... Thank you, Candlewitch.