Hooded Stranger

Nov 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sister

This piece is a co-write with my good friend Ziggy. This is a poem/song written for Candlewith (Cat). It may not be apparent exactly why we wrote it in this way and the subject matter may not be appreciated by all, that said, I can safely say this is the most important piece I have ever been involved in and I thank Ziggy for helping to create this piece. From both Ziggy and myself...welcome back Sister.

Sister

A lady in pain waits on
the platform of her discomfort
A ticket to ride held lightly
with a heavy sigh tear in eye
The flame flickers, her hand
still cups the burning wick
that drips its essence slow
and hot ready or not

The engine to Death's Castle is not on time
The train to the Dark Tower isn't running today
The lone passenger waits with her bags packed
This excursion is cancelled
Her brothers send the engine back into the grey

The train to the Dark Tower is delayed again
The engine to Death's Castle isn't coming today
The passenger waits alone with luggage stacked
This journey can't begin
Her brothers send the train to the dark far away

Breath shallow thoughts drifting
a demise almost met still waiting
Anticipating the darkest hour
before the final dawn a beautiful
mind so willing flesh still weak
possibilities up in a heap

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West England, GBR

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath (poet), Caitlin Mattison/Eddy Styx (poet 'candlewitch'), Enda Collins (poet 'ziggy'), Martin Gore (lyricist for Depeche Mode), Neil Tennant (lyricist for Pet Shop Boys), Stefan Großmann (lyricist for Absurd Minds), Lemmy Kilmister (lyricist for Motörhead), Nathan Reiner (lyricist for Third Realm), Wayne Hussey (lyricist for The Mission), Leonard Cohen (lyricist), Tom Shear (lyricist for Assemblage 23), Clint Carney (lyricist for System Syn & Fake), Ronan Harris (lyricist for VNV Nation), Aaron Lewis (lyricist for Staind), Jason Charles Miller (lyricist for Godhead), Torben Wendt (lyricist for Diorama), Adrian Hates (lyricist for Diary Of Dreams)

Comments

ziggy

14 years 8 months ago

hey

hey dan it looks good. and cat I saw your comment on dans latest and its so great to have you back
you have being so missed big hug from ziggy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Ziggy

Hey, you were supposed to critique this poem and especially say the chorus was fantastic!!

Lol!

ziggy

14 years 8 months ago

hi lol

hey hood I know how much this write means to you as it does me it was a pleasure
writting this with you , ill leave the critique to everybody else we have done the rest lol
chat soon my friend ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Ziggy

I was only pulling your leg mate!

It looks good now it is posted on Neo.

We will await critique.

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

China

China,

not everybody knows quite what she went through so it may not appeal to most, but obviously you do understand and I am pleased you appreciate this piece. Writing a tribute is difficult and open to the usual cliches...we hope this slightly off centre version shines through.

Didn't mean to make you cry, but I know I shed some tears whilst writing this as I am sure Ziggy did too. It was not an easy write and it was kept in a state of undress for sometime until we both had the strength to piece our ideas and words together.

Thank you for your comment and for once you won't find me complaining about a cancelled train!

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Shirl

You can thank Mr. Ziggy for that fantastic stanza. We got together and decided we wanted to do this co-write. I had this idea of a train station and the train being delayed, de-railed or something. Ziggy ran off with this idea and came back with two amazing stanza's which mirrored exactly what I had imagined...I then gave it a usual HS chorus to link the two stanza's together.

Just know Cat has been to Hell and back...but back she is.

Thanks for commenting,

regards,

lou

14 years 8 months ago

Hs and Zigs

I loved this poem when you first showed it to me , Cat is lucky to have such caring friends.

Lou xx

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Lou

Lou,

thanks mate,

magics02

14 years 8 months ago

Just wonderful

Hood and Ziggy you did a great job here and I also was taken back and happy the train kept rolling down the track and we have our Candlewitch back!! I await with baited breath to hear this on. You both did a fabulous job of it.

Blessings to you all
Love Mona

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Mona

Mona,

thanks for reading and commenting...it is just great to have Cat back.

regards,

magics02

14 years 8 months ago

You are welcome

Upon second read I would love to come back and offer a better feedback when my mind is a little sharper then it is right now. Too tired and I like to read this one again before I add to it. If that is fine by you:) It will just be Magics touch or untouch. I shall leave that upon your hands. Be back tomorrow

Love to you and the family Hood and Zigs missing you too!!

Mona

judyanne

14 years 8 months ago

so happy to read this write

didn't know you were back cat - so glad to see you xxxxx
so so glad the train was sent back
wonderful write dan and zigs

love judy
xxxx

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Judy

Judy,

thank you my friend.

regards,

Candlewitch

14 years 8 months ago

The long black train...

Dearest Dan and Ziggy,

You both seem to understand what I have gone through, so well as to have written this great and insightful piece. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it or how very much it has moved me. I choke up just trying to find the words to express my feelings. You remain my very dear friends, my dearest treasures. I love you both. Thanks for being good to Steve, it means much to me.

love, your sister
Cat

ziggy

14 years 8 months ago

our queen has returned

CAT how are you , writing this was all dans idea, and just our way of expressing how much we have missed you here
never say thanks for this cat it's just a token having you back is more than enough, I have sent you a PM, seeing your
comment has really gave me a lift chat soon my friend zigs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Cat

Cat,

I agree with Zigs, you need not thank us, we did this as your friends and although probably our toughest write, we were just glad to be doing something positive for you.

I have become good friends with Steve over the last few months...he is one of the good guys and I can think of nobody better to look after you.

We have to thank Steve with this write too as he gave us the green light in the first instance to allow us to write for you, especially with the fact that, at the point of asking him, you were nowhere near a recovery and you were hanging on that fence...thankfully you fell over onto the green grassy side.

I am just glad you're back...and I see you have posted your first poem on new Neo...off to read that right now!

love always,

Brother Dan

greeneyes

14 years 8 months ago

Dan

What a pleasure to see you in print again! I have missed you.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Greeneyes

Having you here in the fold is a pleasure to me too.

regards,

Geezer

14 years 8 months ago

Having been...

in my own little private world as of late, I also was not aware of the return of Cat. I am totally amazed at this piece of work. You guys have really made a great poem, and I think you should be proud of what you did. i can't pick any favorite lines, but the total package is really great! Indeed, Cat is very lucky, both to have come back from her situation, and to have such wonderful friends. ~ Gee

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Gee

Gee,

thanks for reading and commenting my friend...your comments are always welcome on my page.

Co-writes can be hit and miss, but I have to admit, this worked from our point of view. It had to capture a difficult moment and yet still appear to be written by one mind.

Glad you enjoyed it.

cheers,