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CC
Charlotte Chiva Dayaday
May 14, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Don't Hide in Mystery

I'm a mind explorer
A terrible listener
But a focused reader
And a story compiler

A mind explorer who is afraid of the world
A terrible listener who prefers to stay in the cold
A focused reader who loves to see what's the opposite of reality
A story compiler of other people's fantasy

Yes that's me
I hide in every mystery
I also hide myself behind silence
That's the only place that serves a defence

I am not interested in cruelty
I am not into brutality
I don't need other people just to practice fake formalities
I will never be someone's puppet

I love myself the way I am
The only company I don't want to be gone
I might as well hide myself in darkness
Just to avoid living in nonsense

I will live as what I want
Be with someone or not
This is what I had chosen
That's the only fact in me that is given

So don't mind me being so quiet
As long as silence doesn't mean violence
You don't have to look at a soul
That wants only silence as her role

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I also want to know if is there any more words that are more suitable to use than the used ones by me. Thank you.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Luzon, PHL

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 5 months ago

hello, nice to meet you!

interesting title! pretty good flow.

in this line: A terrible listener who prefers to stay in (the) cold
I love myself the way it is (I love myself the way I am)
Be (it) with someone or not

a good piece depicting what you want and don't want!

welcome to Neopoet. don't be shy in reading other poet's poems and commenting :)

*hugs, Cat

Jackweb

Jackweb

3 years 5 months ago

Welcome to neopoet!

You've a very nice piece! Work on the lines Candlewitch had already pinpointed.

Beautiful flow!

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 5 months ago

I like the theme...

You can raise yourself to new levels
if you follow the advice of Cat and Jack. I'm afraid
that you have mistaken the words [soul and ghoul]
for rhyming words as they look very similar, but they
have different pronunciations. You might use these words as
a rhyming line and still have about the same meaning.

You don't have to look at a soul
that wants only silence as her role.
For the most part, I understand the poem and I think
that you will develop as a good poet, but you will have to read
a lot of the work here and decide for yourself what things you like to write about.
Just remember to get the proper sounds out of the words you want to use.
I know that English is a hard language to learn, because it has many diferent nuances
but you can do it. Good luck and keep writing. ~ Geezer.
.