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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week May 15-22, 2022

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Truth or Dare

Truth like murder will finally come out
A voice that sat in silence, now just has to shout
Truth can truly blind you
It's brighter than the sun
A flame in the dark
Burning like powder from a gun

It may shoot out from the side of your mouth
Or come in the blink of an eye
The way a windscreen shatters, hit by a tiny fly
it’s a bitter pill to swallow
Hard to chew and digest
but like all sickly medicines
it’s prescribed for the best

Been bound and gagged for years, too shy to speak
Truth on the tip of the tongue, does it sound unique
Do you dare to tell her ?
Tell it like it is
The truth is to us, what pain is to his

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nottinghamshire England, GBR

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

dear Sen99,

welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you. I like your title. the poem flows very well as it rolls of the tongue. my favorite lines are:

Been bound and gagged for years, too shy to speak
Truth on the tip of the tongue, does it sound unique
Do you dare to tell her ?
Tell it like it is
The truth is to us, what pain is to his

*hugs, Cat

Sen99

Sen99

3 years 1 month ago

Hello Cat

Thank you for the welcome, reading my piece and your kind comments

Ray Whitaker

Ray Whitaker

3 years 1 month ago

Good Morning Sen99

A great piece, this held my attention all the way thru
.
I myself found the last stanza just fine, seems to be a flowing incidence to the previous stanzas,

I only think I'd suggest tuning the rhythm of that last stanza. it is so strong, IMHO, no repeated words are needed.

Sen99

Sen99

3 years 1 month ago

Dear Ray

thanks for all your comments

the last stanza need some rhyme just for completion, endings I have to work on, still tuning

Sen99

Sen99

3 years 1 month ago

Hello Mark

Thanks or your insights, I was just playing on words, maybe truth is often bitter left unsaid

Endings are something I have to work on, this one needed some kind of near rhyme to end