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Tracing pain,

Tracing pain…

Hurtful skin tight
tired and taught
his pain dampened
no I’d say it’s not,
each line contoured
like a craggy heath
never to see
what lies beneath.

Draw the pencil
make it speed
don’t drag those
lines deep in deed,
spare the rod I hear
from his past, he
never slept first
night or last.

Still he strides out
his eyes beady
does what he can
for those more needy,
perhaps we’ll trace
his pain from there
or at least understand
why the old grey hair.

My pencil may
weaken fail to cure
I’m to blame
for his demure,
tell him no my
hand is true
he and I’ll finish,
what both must do....

About This Poem

Last Few Words: You have to feel for it...

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Scotland, Ayrshire land of Burns.., GBR

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Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

14 years 3 months ago

Hello,

I liked these lines best:

Still he strides out
his eyes beady
does what he can
for those more needy,
perhaps we’ll trace
his pain from there
or at least understand
why the old grey hair.

sort of reminds me of Don Quixote.

Always, Cat

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

Thnk you,

Thank you Cat, nice of you to comment. Regards Roscoe..

S

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

tracing

I read this as aman bearing scars of past suffering still wanting to help where he can.................stan

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

Thank you,

Thank you Stan, i guess we all have scars, all different. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

Thank you,

Thank you Jayne, your opinion is very important to me. Love Roscoe..PS. hope things look up for you now, we at Neopoet need the best people to guide us....

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

Many thanks,

Many thanks your comments are much appreciated and respected. Regards Roscoe...