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Jun 18, 2022
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My Father... Random Challenge # 16
My father was twisted by spirited drink
alone, he was a good guy
Too much and he wandered toward the brink
accompanied by the lie
Lies, that he had it under control
the devil knew him better
Old spirits had his very soul
and led him on a tether
Just one drink, the promise whispered
and you will feel real great
But there was a second and a third
to make him feel first rate
So down the hatch and over the gums
his life went down the drain
He spent his life and enormous sums
Slowly pickling his brain
I saw flashes of the man he was
underneath the devil's brew
When he was sober and not a fuzz
He was just like me and you
His dreams became nothing more
than idle and wishful thinking
I'm sure he would have been a father
if only he'd stopped drinking
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years ago
dear Geezer,
In this:
Just one drink, the promise whispered
and you will feel just great
perhaps another word for (just?) insanely, exactly, precisely, and perfectly,etc.
this is a very serious and sad poem, in spite of the glib tone that carries it along. these lines got to me:
His dreams became nothing more
than idle and wishful thinking
I'm sure he would have been a father
if only he'd stopped drinking
*hugs, Cat
Geezer
3 years ago
Thank you...
I chose to use [real] instead of another word to keep the meter and not boggle the plain and simple thought. This is the product of my realization of alcoholism as a disease and not a wilful attitude. There are people who can walk away from alcohol and/or any type of addiction, without a second thought. I do know some people that quit cold-turkey and never smoked another cigarette and people who never had another drink. I struggled a long time with smoking, [even though I suffered serious health-problems]. Genetic-predispositon is what the medical field calls it. Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geez.
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Jackweb
3 years ago
The effects of liquors:
It changes the behaviour. It inhibit speaking, which causes blurred speech and coordination . It affects impulse control and the ability to make memories, leading to blackouts.
Geezer
3 years ago
Yes Jack...
I am well aware of the effects. I was able to escape the cage of alcoholism before I succumbed to some serious problems, however cigarettes did me in. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geez.
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Warrior Princess
3 years ago
I found your poem was
I found your poem was beautifully penned and the effects of alcohol were conveyed when you describe your father's life,
Geezer
3 years ago
Thank you...
I had hoped that I made it clear. My father was a pretty good guy when he wasn't drinking. I got to know him in the last years of his life. I took care of him until he died of congestive -heart failure. Thanks for the read and comment, ~ Geezer.
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