Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jun 24, 2022
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
God's Gold
Crossing external boundaries,
Surely comprehending reality.
Open your eyes to see, open your eyes to believe.
Too much love to discover,
finding light inside.
No where to run nor hide.
Something real, that’s for sure.
Crossing boundaries of beauty and shame.
Holding sundries
of mitigating pain.
I’ve let corruption cloud my sight,
Impeding my nature and will to fight.
The strength I have now is freely given.
For all of my sins have been forgiven.
There’s a river flowing out of my soul.
And there’s a God who’s knowing,
it’s as precious as gold.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years ago
hello Jordyn,
the title reflects the poem, I almost didn't read it because of the title. so I came into it expecting a warm, sticky gooey over emotional testimonial... I'm glad to say that I am WRONG! this is the best religious poem I have ever read!
my favorite lines are:
Crossing boundaries of beauty and shame.
Holding sundries
of mitigating pain.
and:
There’s a river flowing out of my soul.
And there’s a God who’s knowing,
it’s as precious as gold.
*hugs, Cat
Jordyn Alyssa
3 years ago
Thank you :) I, just as you
Thank you :) I, just as you do, don't really typically read religious poems. But I decided to try to write one and I was actually very pleased with how it came out. Again, thank you, your comment is greatly appreciated!
Candlewitch
3 years ago
hey Jordyn,
I'm really glad I read this one (5 out of 5 stars *****)
Always, Cat
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years ago
Very well written
I’m an atheist but there’s magic out there no matter what you want to call it. This poem captures that magic beautifully. It’s concise and descriptive. Weaves a nice little fabric like a hand woven wool blanket; there’s a definitely a pattern but the homespun threads are never quite the same. Cat already stole the best lines as her favorite so I’m a copy Cat, pun intended. I’m so sorry, I’m a dad and as such, obligated to make “dad jokes”
Tim
Jordyn Alyssa
3 years ago
Thank you
Thank you so much. I'm glad to see that some of the lines are consistently liked amongst multiple people.