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Jul 06, 2022
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Letter To My Ex
I remember when your tears drenched my cloth
I thought it would dry up quickly
I waited as long as I could
But it became cloudy and bigger
As it gathered together
And poured on me,
I was drenched and fussed
My feet slipped when I was alone
It's then I knew that your eyes were good to watch everyday
Even, your smiles were the jingles that lured me to sleep
I listened to my heart any time I lost my way
Your jokes and feelings were rare.
Staying beside you is a grace
Come to smile like those days.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
As I read...
this poem, I was thinking that you had gained a certain measure of competence. I felt that I understood much better than in previous, recent work. Your pacing is good, I've already said that your theme is good and the beginning flows well to the end. ~ Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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Mr joghe
2 years 11 months ago
I like your comment. You also
I like your comment. You also did a good job.
Mr joghe
2 years 11 months ago
The relationship is a flip
The relationship is a flip coin.