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Jul 16, 2022
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Nobility, Ambition, and Self Awareness (Purple)
Standing in his majesty
A step before his throne
Velvet robe of satin plum
Without a queen, yet not alone
A magic scepter in his grip
Circlet circumvents his head
The wand is topped with amethyst
As is the crown that weighs like lead
The dais is adorned with care
Lilac, iris, lavender
That compliment the tapestries
Which dance like flames the air does stir
He deems to build a better land
Haughty dreams, utopian
He knows not if he has the strength
His stern resolve should carry him
Better for the common serf
Not so for the lords
Neither for the barons who’ve
Some large ambitions of their own
Left alone with knowledge of
His imminent demise
He has been forewarned you see
Intelligence from royal spies
Gathered penitent at court
Confronted by their king
Sentence not yet given forth
Axman’s bell has yet to ring
There in splintered shafts of light
Shards of summer wine
Intoxicate their callous hearts
As they are pardoned down the line
The sovereign knew a secret see
He learned about himself
Days gone past he thought like them
Pursuing only earthly wealth
It happened when he lost his Queen
Seeing red and feeling blue
Began to mingle, intertwine
Hope, born in his heart anew
The love she brought and taught to him
Cool clear spring by roaring fire
Showed him places in his soul
Launched his self awareness higher
About This Poem
Last Few Words: My favorite of the color poems for the challenge save maybe brown. Four more to go.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
2 years 12 months ago
Sounds as though...
the king may have a new heart to go along with his new clothes?
The title is good, the rhyme is perfect and the story is well told. I enjoyed the tale of a repentant monarch! Would that it really could happen!
~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 12 months ago
Sounds like
My kind of king. A wonderful story and use of the color purple. Love the flow and title.
Candlewitch
2 years 12 months ago
dear Rosewood Apothecary,
uneasy lies the head who Wears the crown (?) he wants to do right by his subjects. but he has heavy opposition.
neither for the barons who’ve
Some large ambitions of their own
this kinda reminds me of the book titled: "Dune" by Frank L. Herbert (sp?)
good poem!
*hugs, Cat
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 12 months ago
I am
A huge fan of sci/fi. I have read Dune twice. Never thought of it while writing this but it’s got that Paul Atreides feel to it. I think what I’ve got going with these color poems is more akin to medieval feudal systems and ancient civilizations. The Realms of Emotion” may be an apt title for the collection of ten that I composed. In the red kingdom it’s all passion and anger and the Queen of Hearts gives no care to the common archer. In the purple Kingdom there’s a king without a queen looking to lift the common person higher (Charlemagne type). A few are more primitive and harken a time when the first societies were forming at the advent of agriculture. Blue is classic philosophy (Socrates). I was hoping for a loose theme with the same feel. Something old as humanity, something in us all.
Geezer
2 years 12 months ago
You have succeeded...
admirably! I could go for a series of these. ~ Geez.
.
Warrior Princess
2 years 12 months ago
I would say beautifully
I would say beautifully penned indeed. These verses resonated,
It happened when he lost his Queen
Seeing red and feeling blue
Began to mingle, intertwine
Hope, born in his heart anew
The love she brought and taught to him
Cool clear spring by roaring fire
Showed him places in his soul
Launched his self awareness higher