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Jul 30, 2022
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem of The Week Contest July 31 to August 6 2022 Winner
I'm Still Here
A child has been beaten
and is not old enough
to understand why
He goes into his room
and let's off a silent cry
The child does not cry loudly
for he's afraid his parents may hear
The child is afraid
What could stop this fear?
The child sits in the corner
with bruises on his head
The child isn't suffering anymore
For the child now is dead
The parents come in the room
and they start to cry
They didn't think beatings
would make their child die
-RAVENNIGHT
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Welcome
Welcome to the site. Thank you for posting your well written poem. It’s very sad to think about this scenario and not be upset. The poem is complete. You have a complete idea and you move quickly towards a definite ending. The title is also pretty good as it gives hints but also leaves ambiguity. Good job on the rhyme too.
Welcome again,
Tim
Depressed 1
2 years 11 months ago
Well Written
Very well written about a painful subject.
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Well written
On a very difficult but yet all too frequent subject.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
hello and welcome,
a very sad subject. you covered it very well.
always, Cat
ever, eddy