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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem of The Week Contest July 31 to August 6 2022

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Waiting Room- "Fool Again"

He got up and left in the middle of the night again
At least this time I thought we were more than friends
Broken promises on my untamed heart
At least he can breathe when we are apart

I thought that he was done lying
In my heart I knew that he was trying
You can't believe an old fool when it comes to love
He takes flight like a caged dove

Broken heart again, emotions everywhere like a weed tumbling
Intuition told me it was coming
But I'm a fool for believing lies
So I sit here with no goodbyes

Just one last kiss as he told me he loved me
I guess we will always be
Two fools, one in love and one in lust
Bedtime whispers I thought I could trust

You cant believe an old fool when it comes to love
He takes flight like a caged dove

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S.A., USA

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Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 11 months ago

You have

Written a very good poem about a very difficult subject. One would hope two people could effectively communicate their needs honestly but it is really difficult and we are all traumatized in different ways and we all cope differently too. I have the most wonderful partner here. As husband and wife we miscommunicate and feelings can get hurt but we talk it out. When we have to have difficult conversations I feel that we communicate really effectively and listen carefully. This took two decades of working at it and we both were willing participants in our growth. I wish everyone could feel supported the way I do in my romantic relationship. I’m sorry for your struggles in this department.

I noticed a typo

“Just one last kiss as he told me he (loved) me”

Correction in parentheses. I believe this is a simple typographical error. I wouldn’t change anything else it is very readable. I like the flow, the rhythm, the rhyme; all well thought out. I like the line repeated at the end, a strong reaffirmation of the central theme.

Sorry about that longing, I’ll be hoping for your happiness,
Tim

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

If you would like...

a certificate of participation for for entry to the challenges, your title should appear this way: [I am presuming the challenge]
Waiting Room - 'Fool Again' A quirk in our programing, we are trying to resolve. Thank you, The certificate is printable and suitable for framing. [Also for bragging rights and showing off to friends!] Your poem is one that unfortunately, is all too recognizable. Especially when it involves an 'old fool', for as we know, "there is no fool like an old fool". Nice job! Clear story and well told! ~ Geezer.
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Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

Change the way...

your title reads, and then when the end of the month comes and we do the certificates, we will send it to you in a link. ~ Geezer.
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Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

You're in...

I'm sure that you will have a wall full in no time! ~ Geezer.
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