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My Love My Rotting Leaves (Round Robin)
My Love My Rotting Leaves (opening verses)
Submitted by mark on Sun, 2022-07-31 17:03
Apples are no treat for me
(or anyone really)
nothing to excite,
nothing like chocolate.
Chocolate for my cache
(a bag full)
on October 31
and Scarlet in her blue windbreaker.
Water towers reach high up
(and so did I)
behind her head for a hand
of fine blonde hair.
Oak trees all around the silver thing
with graffiti all over,
our name up there somewhere,
but the aroma of rotting leaves…
end Mark---------
start Cat--------
yes, our names up there, from where she fell
seeing her descent in slow motion
my eyes held her slim costumed body
as I dove into disbelief and shock's ocean
couldn't pull my eyes away from her small form
not breathing, so lifeless, how we all grieved
seeing her crumpled self, looking small,
we would remember the aroma of rotting leaves...
end Cat------------
start Geezer---------
Climbing up the water tower
to feel as though a king
She climbed with me, my promised queen
She wore my high-school ring
We laughed and faked a slip or two
grinned at eternal youth
We never thought of fear, my friend
and death was not a truth
A circle of her friends at grave
watched as the hole was filled
I smelled the rotting leaves again
the Autumn air was chilled
end Geezer
start Rosewood Apothecary
Her service now concluded
I took my sullen solitude
Walked with it for quite awhile
We both got lost within the mood
Wondering what might have been
If budding love had bloomed
Questions rot like fallen leaves
Within my laden heart entombed
End Rosewood Apothecary
Start RoseBlack
And so I wandered
Back to where she lay
Feeling the dirt beneath my nails
As I dug and scraped
My Autum love
I couldn't bare
To let her stay
Within the dirt there
I pulled her up
And brought her home
Safe in my arms
Rotting leaves swirling all around
End RoseBlack
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Hope I did this right, guys!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Macabre
I think Tim Burton hasn’t a thing on us. Neil Gaiman still rules though. I really want this to continue because it’s got that Shadow and Laura Moon feel from American Gods.
Pretty inspired,
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
I live/dwell in the Macabre
And yes, this certainly has the potential to continue. It could turn into quite the poetic story.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
These are little short films
Like little dioramas Wes Anderson style. Each with a different feel to compliment the writing styles. Or… comic book panels! Are we writing a graphic novel here? If we were to go another round Cat could start first??? She is a real live witch. Let’s have some necromancy. I’ll provide the “romancy”.
What do you think??
Getting kinda manic,
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
I like your thought process
Necromancy is one of my favorite parts of magick! This would be an interesting flip book!
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Hahaha
He just couldn't live without her
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Ah so necromancy gone wrong
Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Necromancy/necrophilia
Tomato/tamato...yes at least they are together.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Ah so necromancy gone wrong
Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
hey guys,
anyone see the "Corpse Bride"? so, do we start a new one or continue this story line? we could start a part #2?
*curious, cat
Carrie, this was kickin'
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Hi Cat
I have seen Corpse Bride. I am a huge Tim Burton fan. We could keep this going and see where the story takes us. Perhaps Neopoet's first poetic story? I think we are on to something good and having fun with it as well. We have a talented group here. We just need Tim, Gee and Mark to weigh in
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
I say let’s do another round through
Obviously I have seen the corpse bride as well. I think we have a good story going here that has an ending that is not only ambiguous but demands more.
“Love, holding more sway than death
Permanent bounds could not separate the pair
Her rank perfume of putrefaction
Diffused into air by the wind in her hair.”
As you can see I’ve been thinking about it.
Art everyday,
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
I am in
Now for Gee and Mark to weigh in...
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
If everyone else is in...
so am I. Mark? What do you think?
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
dear Gee,
maybe you should p.m. him?
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
I did...
I even offered him any position behind you, as you are going first. I am okay with going last.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Just let me know
My number.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
thanks Gee,
should I continue here or start a fresh page calling it part #2?
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Let's call it part two...
Then we can see how the new order and the rule of free verse only suspended, works out. I would still like to keep it to twelve lines maximum and keep it manageable. This is a fun gig, I am enjoying this immensely! ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
okay,
I'll get to work on it after breakfast.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
having problems...
for some reason neo won't let me submit my contribution. could I post it here and then one of you darklings post it in a new post (for me?)
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
never mind...
I got it...
having strange internet problems
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Where am i
In the order
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Round two is…
Cat, Geezer, myself, Rose Black, Mark I believe.
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Thanks Tim
This is really a lot of fun.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
I submitted mine in a new post
it is down the list a bit. who is next?
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
I'm waiting...
for a reply from Mark, as I have offered him a chance to change his position as incentive to continue with the part #2. ~ Geez.
.
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Mark says...
he will go last, so that means I'm up, then Carrie and Tim. Iam excited!
~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
I am excited
Will be looking for your next installment and then will prepare mine.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
make sure to:
post it under part #2.
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Sorry to all...
for forgetting the line-up! I promise that the next one will go better. I had put it down wrong the last time, [I should never rely on my memory]. I promised Mark he can start the next one and then the order will be set in stone! LoL
~ Geez.
.