Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sorry i took your panther away

Dear manifestation,
Sorry i took your panther away i saw that it tore your heart out and the expression you offered was just. I hope you can see that it grows again by your side and my most deepest apologies are in this note.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Not just a manifestation

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: England united kingdom

More from this author

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

3 years 2 months ago

Welcome to the site

Thanks for posting! I am intrigued by this poem. I’m not really sure what is going on but I like it anyway.

I would make a few suggestions about format:

Dear manifestation
Sorry i took your panther away
i saw that it tore your heart out and
the expression you offered was just.
I hope you can see that it grows again
by your side and
my deepest apologies are in this note.

I removed “most” deepest at the behest of every grammar teacher that ever verbally abused me. Other than that, I just put the lines where the breaks were when I read it. So it reads less like prose.

Candlewitch is great a free verse and she should be able to help with organizing too.

Welcome and Excellent job,
Tim