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birth of the sun, moon and stars
i'd heard
it spoken
how he
hated stars
and frivolous
things
and lazy
sundays
old dogs
with
older men
who sat
in parks
smoking
talking with
young children,
imparted wisdom
he never
in his existence
conversed
with god,
with strangers,
with her
they said
if you met
he'd inspire you
and you would
cut out stars,
drag down
the moon
and live
in the suns shadow
but with her
he fumbled words
drank dark poetry
in darker places
than she would go
all while saying
i never cared
i don't care,
i won't
they say
his child
looks just like him
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
14 years 3 months ago
Stunning,
Stunning this was a pleasure to read, Regards Roscoe...ps welcome
Kailashana2
14 years 3 months ago
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
They never say what isn't God's truth. The son looks just like his father...made in his *own* image.
Welcome again, thank you for bringing your POETRY.
~A
Blue_Halcyon
14 years 3 months ago
Excellent poem
Gee, it almost sounds like you met my biological father. hahaha lol
I'm glad that you've found Neo. I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.
magics02
14 years 3 months ago
Spotted
Great free verse with a lot of meanings in this one. I enjoyed this write. Good job
Mona
CCfire
14 years 3 months ago
Thanks :)
You are too kind, I so appreciate the lovely comments and friendliness of this place, it's a breath of fresh air to me.
CCfire
14 years 3 months ago
LOL...I just love your
LOL...I just love your comments already :)