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Jackweb
Jackweb
Sep 04, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week September 4th To September 10th 2022

(Read More...)

A MAN ON FIRE

Thoughts in me are alive,
They're pulling out in flames,
A poet's mind is on fire,
In a deep creative blaze.

Each night and day,
I felt the embers glow,
I'm now a burning candle,
grafted from a divine light.

Who will help me out?
Who will bring peace to me?
I'm restive in my own self,
like a wild fire blazing...

This night I wrestled alone,
but this fire can't free me,
it kept clutching me down,
while I was yielding its light.

I knew what this all about,
when it comes, it ignites,
enlightening me heavily,
but weary of it's presence.

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo, Wole soyinka, Maya Angelou, W.H. Longfellow, John Milton, W.B. Yeat.

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 10 months ago

I get it...

there are times when I get weary of beating a dead horse too! It seems like we go over and over the same issues without any
obvious effect. Your piece reflects the weariness and exasperation with simple language, and it flows well from beginning to end. I would change only two words, in the first line, it should be: "Thoughts in me [are] alive, and in the fourth stanza, it should be, "[while] I was yielding its' light." Everything else is good. ~ Geezer.
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Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 10 months ago

Done!

Thank you so much for your advice. It really fits in!

Truly, I couldn't sleep at all today. Verses kept coming in...Until I wrote this!
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Ray Whitaker

Ray Whitaker

2 years 9 months ago

Like the stanzas and the form

I thought the rhyme and rhythm seems a bit forced, until I saw that each stanza's last two lines end with 13 syllables. Did you design that, or just was that your muse?

that life is full of burning issues... it never stops...

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 9 months ago

Not at all!

Well, Ray, that's your observation. But the poem is not forced! That just my muse. I don't know if you have noticed when inspirations comes upon your head, how do you feel? I couldn't sleep until I penned down this poem. Read the poem thrice and you will get the message well. Thanks for stopping by.

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