Witching Hour

I accept the hollow glow of witching hour
and allow it to hold me tight,
immerse and enthral me.
Cast it’s spell against tormented light.

I feel the night consume me.
exhale a calm and even breath.
Sink into the obscurity of my life.
Staving off grim death.

Devour and suck the marrow,
Pick me clean of my plight.
Body ready for fight or flight.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

Comments

lou

14 years 3 months ago

Jayne

I have to write what I feel.

Thank you for reading .

Lou

lou

14 years 3 months ago

Suggestions

Jayne,

my comment was not in response to your suggestion. It was in response to your comment that i had chosen another dark theme.

love Lou

weirdelf

14 years 3 months ago

mmm, very evocative, captures a mood well.

I think that beginning the first two lines of the first two stanzas with "I" detracts a little, a bit me me me, you see? I slight re-arrangement of word order or choice could fix it easily, without taking away from the personal feeling.

Also
mind in repose
breaks the flow, without adding by dramatic impact.

I've got to say, your response to JC was a bit childish, you know perfectly well we only offer suggestions with a desire to help and you can take them or leave them.

lou

14 years 3 months ago

Childish?

Thanks for the constructive comments that you made.

My response to Jayne's comment was in reference to her remark that the theme was another dark one, it was not in reference to her suggestion. Not that I should have that to explain that anyone but the person the comment was aimed at.

lou