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Mar 28, 2011
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Cursed Or Blessed (eddy styx) Warning controversial content!
Cursed or Blessed
Oh the pain and pleasure
of the living soul
The agony or the ecstasy
It’s our decision
Individually alone to make
So inconsequentially
Which road to take
The living hell
Each breath does make
Oh fool you of the fleshy bondage
Are you not at all aware
of the irony of your senseless groping
The endless pain of love forsaken
Or the noncommittal chances taken
On a grand scale of nothing ventured
Nothing gained
From all loves pleasures
hence abstained
And so you’ve been told
That you’ve been blessed
By God’s sweet loving tenderness
The human favorite granted choices
The gifted one of hungry voices
And still you have not guessed
Instead of cursed you call it blessed
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Thanks to Dan for his pre-posting critique. I'm still considering the change you suggested but I want to see what others have to say before I make a change. For those of you who don't know, eddy styx is my male alter ego.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Chrys,
Thank you so much for your input. It is appreciated.
love, Cat
lou
14 years 3 months ago
Sorry
Cat,
I have trouble finding fault with your work.
Love as always Lou
xx
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Thanks, Lou,
You always make me laugh!
love, Cat
Hooded Stranger
14 years 3 months ago
Cat
Cat,
it is good that you haven't yet made the change(s) I suggested, it is always a good idea to get a wider audience first. It will be interesting to see what suggestions you get.
This is one of my favourite Styx II poems...although the other 100 are close behind!! Lol!
Did you write this before or after your hospital episode?
I have nothing else to add as I have already critiqued, but I will be watching for suggestions.
regards,
HS
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Dan,
This piece isn't getting too many responses. Maybe that in itself is a response. I may have unintentionally offended the readers. I hope it isn't so.
love, Sis
Hooded Stranger
14 years 3 months ago
Cat
Cat,
you're getting more responses now. I really don't think you've offended anybody with this piece...not that I've heard anyway.
Patience!...this is too good not to be in the mighty book!
HS
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Thanks, Dan,
I sure hope I didn't offend anyone, I didn't mean too. Yes this will go in the book, probably as the last piece. The book is getting pretty hefty, LOL! Thanks for the thumbs up!
love, Sis
ziggy
14 years 3 months ago
hi cat
so your considering possible changes to this one,
I have read this a few times now and can only think
any changes would only need to be slight as it reads
well to me as is, but I will return to see what you have done to
this, love this
"Oh fool you of the fleshy bondage
Are you not at all aware,,,,,,,,,(this line could be changed about a little but I feel it would only change its sounding)
of the irony of your senseless groping
The endless pain of love forsaken
Or the( non-committal) chances taken,,,,,,,,great wording as per usual ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Bro Ziggy,
I haven't been able to make up my mind about the changes. I think I'm grid-locked, either that or constipated... Thanks for the read, and by-the-way... it is soooooo good to have you back on neo!
love, Sis
hobo
14 years 3 months ago
nice write
This is a very nice write, I love the content of everything you have said in this poem. very nice
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Hobo,
Thank you for reading and responding :)
love, cat
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Shirl,
I always like knowing what you liked best with my poems. Thank you so much for your input.
love, Cat
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Rosi,
Well do I know how evil some people are. (Too well!) It is true, you cannot change a person's basic nature. Thanks for your vote of confidence. I will leave it the same as it is and not change it.
love, Cat
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Jayne,
Thank you! I know I have a good reader in you and you will never fail to tell me if I fall off balance. I'm so glad that you liked this one. It is going in "The Book of Styx II"
love, Cat