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This poem is part of the contest:

A Poem To Your Childhood Self

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My Child

Oh! My child, don’t hate him
Though you may never see him
But something tells me you may yet see him.
Wait a minute,
He was handsome
If he’s still handsome;
I was young and cute when he married me
He was the foreman in a forge company
We lived together happily
Till I suddenly became blind;
He ran away when I didn’t move
I’ve not heard from him ever since
I’m sure, he’ll come back again.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Osun State, Nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: William Wordsworth, Niyi Osundare, Wole Soyinka, J.P Clack

More from this author

Comments

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 8 months ago

He's not a wise man

He should be ashamed of himself! Marriage is a life time of a thing. We're not meant to change our minds just because things suddenly changed to bad side. He's love is not a genuine type. Just dare me! A true loving man stays with his wife no matter how bad the health issue could be.
.

Mr joghe

Mr joghe

2 years 8 months ago

I like your comment.

I like your comment.
Marriage is for better and for worse but many marriages had become like this...

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 8 months ago

He will come back

I find my younger self in my writing and art and music everyday. His optimism is needed. His naivety shed. You will find that youthful spirit. I’m sure of it.

Excellent poem,
Tim

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 8 months ago

My Child

Hello!
If this is a poem from your adult self to your childhood self, to me the opening line is the most important line in the poem. To be encouraged not to hate, to move on and work past the hate is priceless advice. And to have cautious hope and optimism is very brave. Strong poem.
Thank you,
Lavender