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Oct 13, 2022
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Empty Bottles
Come all things that will
I, powerless to halt
The guiltless hands of time
Forgetting all my faults
Forever they reside
Within my mental state
May I erase them too
Wipe them from the slate
Likewise dry the tears
Which fell upon the ground
Not a single drop did fill
The empty bottles all around
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 9 months ago
Empty Bottles
Hello, Tim,
I have read your strong poem a dozen times, and feel something different each time. For me, there is a lingering torment here, but also a great revelation and an awareness. My take, from my own experiences - we fret endlessly from our faults and imperfections, our human qualities. Yet, there comes a time when we realize our tears and torment have brought us no peace, they have not filled the void in our lives. And so, freely, we finally move on. Your title and ending are compelling.
Thank you,
L
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 9 months ago
Exactly
You’ve got the gist exactly. I’m finally prepared to just let some things go. Mistakes are lessons not lifelong handicaps.