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Neopoem Of The Week October 16th to October 22 2022
LAMARIN
Lamarin, you have eaten the eye of the earth
A betrayal shall perish in the soil
You have eaten the bait
And whoever does what no man had done before shall see unusual thing.
Ha- ha, he shouldn’t be you!
Lamarin, you have broken the tie
You know Esu does not eat black kernel- oil,
Does dog eat kolanut
Have you forgotten that one must not use bitter- kola sticks to make fire?
Or use its leaves to preserve pap,
That Orisa- oke will get angry with the person.
You have given me a bitter-sweet memory...
He who killed vulture clocked not a year
He who killed hornbill clocked not a month
Lamarin, you’ve struck the honey-nest
You have called Esu an ugly man
If your Sango is drying up Araba and Iroko
It not my big tree;
Lamarin, you have deepened your fingers into my mouth
And I must bite you.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I make use of some local words 'Lamarin' is person name. 'Orisa-oke' is god. 'Esu' is god. 'Sango' is god. 'Araba' and 'Iroko' are common big tree in Nigeria forest. Lastly, the poem moves around Yoruba proverb. The poem reflects the aggressions of the poet toward a betrayal called LAMARIN.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ray Whitaker
2 years 9 months ago
Raw, and interesting
I read it, enjoyed the references to vegetation that was not native to me.
Geezer
2 years 9 months ago
As Ray described...
this piece, I see it as raw and interesting. I too, enjoyed the references to native fruits and vegetation and the admonishments against using them for certain things. So very interesting to see and hear about customs and proverbs. Nice work! ~ Geez.
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Mr joghe
2 years 9 months ago
Thanks for the comment.
Thanks for the comment.
I'm trying to relay my customs and proverbs to my readers around the the world.