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Neopoem Of The Week October 16th to October 22 2022
Breaking Up With Philomena
The phone rings late in the afternoon
She says she wants to see me tonight
I take another drink and contemplate the dance
Later, the cats look at us disapprovingly
I let them out to search for better company in the alley
“Leave the bastards and come back to bed.”, her complaint
I can’t take my mind off them,
seeking what they may in their wanderings
Prowling carelessly about in the dark
in the freedom of the blithe shadows
Pulling at me from under the covers with impatience
she says, “Are you going to stay here with me,
or do you want to join them?”
Scratching the day’s stubble on my face,
I weigh the merits of her query.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Trying to capture the moment I knew it wasn't working.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 9 months ago
Breaking Up With Philomena
Hello, Michael,
Bye-bye, Philomena! So...I could tell that it was not working by the end of your third line. The cats just confirmed it. Perfect final line, too. Very witty!
L
Michael Anthony
2 years 9 months ago
Thanks L! Yeah, I guess it
Thanks L! Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious - LOL! Always appreciate you stopping by.
Best
Geezer
2 years 9 months ago
Like Lavender...
I kind of figured that it was over by the third line. Your slow response and the scratching of your day-old stubble confirmed what the cats thought of the liaison; [secret, unfaithful relationship to a partner], ie the cats. Great sense of dark humor here.
~ Geez.
.
Michael Anthony
2 years 8 months ago
Thanks Geez. Only funny in
Thanks Geez. Only funny in retrospect, to be sure - LOL!
Best
Michael Anthony
2 years 8 months ago
Indeed! Thanks Alan. Best
Indeed! Thanks Alan.
Best