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Nov 16, 2022
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This poem is part of the challenge:
November 2022 Random Challenge When I wake up in the morning
Just A Dream [When I wake up in the morning]
When I wake up in the morning,
I am happy to see their faces
After years,
And years,
And years…
Finally fulfilling our dreams.
Literally.
We loved our new lives,
Away from everyone
So we can do whatever we want
Without anyone telling us what to do
Finally, we were somewhere where we were able
To be ourselves.
But then, I woke up,
With the bright light beaming on my face,
Slightly hurting my eyes
And as I slowly started to process my dream,
Tears started to form, as I stare up high
“If only I can see your faces
One last time.”
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Eden Guthrie
2 years 7 months ago
Great job!
I liked everything about this poem. I love the melancholy touch to it and the way its put together
RoseBlack
2 years 7 months ago
Well done
We try so hard to become independent to only realize we wish we had more time with someone.
Lavender
2 years 7 months ago
Just A Dream
Hello, Walten,
You've captured the true meaning of companionship, and the true loss.
Thank you,
Lavender