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Shok Wave

its there
the part
the play

within the curve
the smooth hinge
motion

the turn
and look

each portion
I taste
each night
burning
like a fire ship

today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections

all I dream about
is you

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 3 months ago

The yearning...

comes through very clearly here. I think you are asking yourself if there is anything that you could have or should have done differently. Just my take. ~ Gee

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

14 years 3 months ago

Shock?

I give a smile,
a turn
and one smile more,
Ann

Esker

Esker

14 years 3 months ago

Shok

all my titles are odd
its just a title
maybe Im just trying too hard at times

the classic old movies
and takes
even in old photography the black
and whites
thats what i was raised with
and I try to make pictures with
words here

its rather hard at times
but rewarding when it works well

M

magics02

14 years 3 months ago

Esker

Just some tweaks to this one or please tell me if you do not use correct punctuations as I know some writers choose not to. This way I will know not to edit or suggestt that part of your writing:)

today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections

today I'm
today I'm

and in the it's there - your first line
title- Shock wave?

I like how your flow of thoughts rally down the page and your ending is conclusive to that thoughts. Free flow is good

Blessings
Mona
Florida

Esker

Esker

14 years 3 months ago

punctuation

I thought i was writing without punc's because I
just didnt know where all the correct symbols would
be included but i just remembered that i write
these fast and that its just faster to write it out
without them and I did so poorly in english
that i feel like im rebelling with them even though
as you notice I put an apostrophe in the first line

M

magics02

14 years 3 months ago

Esker

I hear you and sometimes when I am typing fast I am neither interested in punctutations so I know just what you are saying. Do not worry just continue your writing as your voice and your soul comes through plenty good..

Blessings
Mona