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Mar 31, 2011
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Shok Wave
its there
the part
the play
within the curve
the smooth hinge
motion
the turn
and look
each portion
I taste
each night
burning
like a fire ship
today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections
all I dream about
is you
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
14 years 3 months ago
The yearning...
comes through very clearly here. I think you are asking yourself if there is anything that you could have or should have done differently. Just my take. ~ Gee
Esker
14 years 3 months ago
Yes could I have done things differently..
that always goes through my mind
a muse told me I Think it too much
and yes she is correct
but of course that only makes
me go over things even more
in depth
Nordic cloud
14 years 3 months ago
Shock?
I give a smile,
a turn
and one smile more,
Ann
Esker
14 years 3 months ago
Shok
all my titles are odd
its just a title
maybe Im just trying too hard at times
the classic old movies
and takes
even in old photography the black
and whites
thats what i was raised with
and I try to make pictures with
words here
its rather hard at times
but rewarding when it works well
magics02
14 years 3 months ago
Esker
Just some tweaks to this one or please tell me if you do not use correct punctuations as I know some writers choose not to. This way I will know not to edit or suggestt that part of your writing:)
today Im a ghost
today Im haunting
my own reflections
today I'm
today I'm
and in the it's there - your first line
title- Shock wave?
I like how your flow of thoughts rally down the page and your ending is conclusive to that thoughts. Free flow is good
Blessings
Mona
Florida
Esker
14 years 3 months ago
punctuation
I thought i was writing without punc's because I
just didnt know where all the correct symbols would
be included but i just remembered that i write
these fast and that its just faster to write it out
without them and I did so poorly in english
that i feel like im rebelling with them even though
as you notice I put an apostrophe in the first line
magics02
14 years 3 months ago
Esker
I hear you and sometimes when I am typing fast I am neither interested in punctutations so I know just what you are saying. Do not worry just continue your writing as your voice and your soul comes through plenty good..
Blessings
Mona