Jackweb

Dec 04, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

NEW DAWN

the rough night
gave birth to
a virgin morn
joy spreads
every heart

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo, Wole soyinka, Maya Angelou, W.H. Longfellow, John Milton, W.B. Yeat.

Comments

Rula

2 years 7 months ago

Hello Jack

I am a fan of succinctness and this is an ideal example.I would make a timy rearrangement for a smoother read in lines 2 and 3

the rough night
gave birth to
[a] virgin morn

Other than that, I have to say I really enjoyed the scene you've drawn with your quill for us.
Thank you for sharing.

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Wow!

Beautifully arranged! Much appreciated Rula!
.

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

I totally agree...

with my fellow poets on this score! Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Always thankful!

Much appreciated Gee...!
.

Candlewitch

2 years 7 months ago

dear Onyinechi,

(did I spell it right? if not I apologize)

I love it and agree with the others....your poem is sharp, crisp and hits the mark!

*hugs, Cat

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks

So much Candlewitch for your feedback.
.

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

No!!!

Is spelt: ONYINYECHI!
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Candlewitch

2 years 7 months ago

thank you so very much!

I will try really hard to remember that!. seasons Greetings to you.

* big hugs, Cat

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Alright!!

Same here!
.

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

New Dawn

Hi, Jackweb,
I will join in with the others - this is great. I do wonder, though - "rough" is a rather tame word for something that preceded such an amazing dawn that spread joy to every heart. I have the sense that the night was almost unbearable in some way...
L