RoseBlack

Dec 07, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

One of Those Days

Thick air
Heavy heart
My mind isn't sure
Where to start

I opened up
And let you in
To take up real estate
Inside my head

Feelings I had buried
Cauterized by hate
Reconnected for the moment
And then dropped on my face

Will I ever learn
What I really am
And that love
Is one big scam

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, Jim Morrison

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Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 7 months ago

Aww

I pray you find love if that’s what you’re looking for. You’re certainly a great writer. I’m sorry you have past experiences that leave you like this. I do think we all have those days. If you’re ever doubting your worth let me remind you, you are worthy of love and affection and I know we all love you like family here.

I can’t find any corrections. I guess it would be my tendency to make it “tight” but I like your style and I’ve become very comfortable with the extra or missing syllables.

Always impressed
Tim

RoseBlack

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Tim

I guess I am feeling 'alone' more today than other days. I tend to set myself up for failure in the 'love' department. I appreciate your kind words and certainly consider all of you family here. I am so bad about extra or missing syllables. I could never get my head around perfect rhyme and meter and am in awe of those who do. Thank you again for the read and positive comments.

Candlewitch

2 years 7 months ago

dear carrie,

this poem of yours is reminiscent of how I used to feel...oh yeah it is so real. I always wish you all the best. my favorite lines are:

I opened up
And let you in
To take up real estate
Inside my head

*hugs, Cat & eddy

RoseBlack

2 years 7 months ago

Thank you Cat

I am certainly feeling alone these days amidst some health issues and other things.

Rula

2 years 7 months ago

Well expressed

Writing relieves hopefully. You deserve the best.
Well, we can't get everything we like, but you've at least get your clever words, a pen , and a way to let your reader engaged in.
Be well dear Carrie.

RoseBlack

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Rula

I do find writing to be a great release. The days loneliness gets to me and depression seems neverending. I am always grateful for my neofamily.

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

One of Those Days

Hello, RoseBlack,
Revealing poetry, well written. I can't imagine anyone so open to love will be denied. The last stanza seems so significant to me...I believe when we learn who we really are, that is when the love we seek and find is no longer a scam.
L

RoseBlack

2 years 7 months ago

Hi L

Identity...my life long struggle...I seem to be so many things but so unlucky in others

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

All the best...

to you, dear friend.
L