December 2022 Random Challenge Up On The Rooftop

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Up On The Rooftop (December Random Challenge)

Up on the roof, before the door
I once stood still to hear a roar
I wasn't sure, I had no proof
Before the door, up on the roof

I used a stool to see behind
I peeked in vain, I tried to find
I feared to find a fearsome ghoul
To see inside, I used a stool

But now it's clear, I'm quite sure
The deceiving sound-just a lure
The wind blew in, and then shall veer
I'm quite sure, it comes now clear.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I always enjoyed the "Swap Quarantine"

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

In the second stanza...

This is what I would do with the second stanza:

I used a stool to see behind
I peeked in vain, and tried to find
I feared to find a fearsome ghoul
But to see inside, I used a stool

I love the rhythm and the theme is raucous, and sharp.
A chanty kind of thing one might make up for kids.

~ Geez.
.

Rula

2 years 7 months ago

Thank you sir

Suggestions were put in action.
Much appreciate it.

RoseBlack

2 years 6 months ago

Another unique approach

I really enjoyed this. There was a spooky feel yet still portrayed in your elegant way. Good job

Lavender

2 years 6 months ago

Up On The Rooftop

Hi, Rula,
This is a fun, spirited poem! Great rhythm!
L

Rula

2 years 6 months ago

Hello ladies

You both are so kind to visit me at the same night.
Can't thank you enough :)