Emerald1

Dec 15, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Artist

Paris, the city of lights
love, romance, best cafes.
Every day I look longingly
at the about to kiss couple.
Her joy in her stance
as she reaches in.
Her lover protects them
both with his umbrella.

The picture reflects my thoughts
my world shrouded in grey shadow.
I blink, rub my eyes try and clear my mind
but the mist hangs tight, clings on.
Beauty and love always somehow
unreachable, touch repelled
The artist sees my world so perfectly
Seems to understand how my world is
I wonder who he or she is.........

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I dont know if I can upload pics with poems , this piece was inspired by a picture of the Eiffel Tower with 2 lovers in the foreground under an umbrella , leaning in for a kiss ,

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ireland

Comments

Rula

2 years 7 months ago

Hello Emerald

A lively descriptive piece. I visualize it all clearly. The site is not allowing any images' upload and anyways I thought you don't need it.
Well done!

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Rula

Thank you for your kind words , glad the absence of the picture didnt detract from the enjoyment of the piece .

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Rula

Thank you for your kind words , glad the absence of the picture didnt detract from the enjoyment of the piece .

Candlewitch

2 years 7 months ago

hello,

this is a lovely piece, which words create an enchanted view into the creator's mind. am I wrong, or are you referring to a a (God or Goddess)?
nice to meet you!

*hugs, Cat

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Hi Cat ,thanks for your

Duplicate

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Hi Cat ,thanks for your

Hi Cat ,thanks for your positive comment much appreciated ,it was written to a pic prompt of the Eiffel tower with lovers in foreground leaning in for a kiss ,I love when my pieces can be interpreted in different ways by readers as I often think them one dimensional ,a friend suggests I add to it which I will certainly consider . Thanks again for read and comment .

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Hi Cat ,thanks for your

This was a duplicate comment

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

Your title is good...

it brings to mind
the picture of an artist painting a kissing couple
in front of the Eiffle Tower. The language use is good,
no really big words, but words that accurately describe
your mood and the thoughts of discouragment.

The theme is age-old and romance is something that is very familiar.
The beginning is good and sets the scene well, and the end commits to the
reader in expressing dismay of feeling left out of the romance scene.

No, we do not offer uploading pictures with your work, maybe sometime
in the future... Nice work, ~ Geezer.
.

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your positive comments ,my writing will always be fairly straightforward and the language simple but hopefully sufficient to express what I want to say
It is encouraging to get positivity on first pieces posted thanks again

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 7 months ago

Your last few words

I think you gave us the pertinent information in your notes but I agree with Rula; I got the picture clearly from your words. This is one of those age old themes like Geezer said, something most readers can relate to from experience.

Nice job,
Tim

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks so much ,as I say I

Thanks so much ,as I say I wrote to a picture prompt and I feared the words would not paint that picture ,I am encouraged that people seem to get it from the poem . Thanks again

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

The Artist

Hello!
I agree with the others - a great visual description, but also a moving piece that describes feelings of longing for and anticipating love and romance. Wonderful title. I really like this.
Thank you!
Lavender

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks so much ,I'm really

Thanks so much ,I'm really pleased with your kind feedback it encourages me that readers can see the picture and feel the emotion from my words alone ,thanks again

Dalton

2 years 7 months ago

Mo Cara

I think reading the poems of Paul Eluard would improve on such wonderful poems as these

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

Thank you mo chara for your

Thank you mo chara for your kind description of my poem and I will of course take up your kind suggestion, I will put this poet on my post chrimbo reading list ,thank you dear poet and friend , x

Emerald1

2 years 4 months ago

Thank U

Thanks so much , Im just so glad that the poem read strongly enough without its picture that it was written to ,to portray my intention , yes who wouldnt like a Paris romance ....., Cheers Em 1