scribbler

Apr 01, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THEN and NOW

I used to walk a mile or more
through hot summer woods and boggy marsh
to fish beaver ponds that had no shore
and never thought the price too harsh

At work I'd walk the tops of walls
ten feet tall, four inches wide
while building rooms, closets and halls
and never sway from side to side

This lame old dude even ran track
a lean and thin fleet athlete
even pole vaulted onto a cushioned sack
of energy I was replete

But that was decades in the past
a different life, a different time
now instead of being young and fast
I sit and write in verse and rhyme

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

14 years 3 months ago

As per usual...

Your rhyme is perfect, and the content of nature and personal feeling makes this a good poem. I relate to it much as I always do, with the thought, that you could be writing about me! ~ Gee

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hello

But I WAS writing about you.........and me....and all us other old dudes lol.................stan

Candlewitch

14 years 3 months ago

Dear Stan,

I remember all the things I used to do like snow skiing and driving my motorcycle all with the wind in my face. Those old memories bring back a joyous time in life. Now I watch from the side lines and write my poetry, like you. The times change, my friend and so must we. Your title is appropriate and this piece flows well. In fact it flows so well that I didn't even notice your easy rhyming scheme.

One suggestion:

pole vaulted pole vaulted into a cushioned sack

remove one of the "pole vaulted" from this line.

love, Cat

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

greetings

I can type well or I can type fast,but This proves I can't do both lol. Thanks for the visit and mentioning typo............stan

loved

14 years 3 months ago

AS NOW I AM SLOW AND FAT I SHALL FOLLOW UR RHYME

now instead of being young and fast
I sit and write in verse and rhyme

HOPEFULLY I WILL TOOO
BY THE MIDNIGHT CHIME

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hi loved

we oldy moldy folks have to find new hobbies as our bodies betray us don't we ?...................stan

hobo

14 years 3 months ago

lol I love it

I love it my friend, I am afraid that I too am now condemed to sit and write instead of run and jump

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hi hobo

Good to see you back. Haven't had time yet to watch your stand up video but shall do so this evening. Thanks for dropping by.......................stan

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

Hello Eph

I give up .Is that Russian at end of comment?..................stan

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

high Shirl

I can still do about everything I used to, just not as fast. Of course in some things slower is better lmao. Hope all is well with vanni.................stan

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hi Rosi

An old broken knee keeps me from those ponds now. Too many submerged logs to trip over to risk it. But I DO push myself to do all I can to keep active. Also great to see you on my page................stan