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Jan 04, 2023
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A PANG OF TIME
In the parade of time
the birth-pangs of civilization
a red card to humanity
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
A Pang Of Time
Hello, Jackweb,
There is some truth here - the advancement of humans has somewhat robbed humanity as a whole. The use of the word "parade" is interesting - it gives a sense of viewing a spectacle, just for show, insincere. A brief, but very deep poem.
L
Jackweb
2 years 6 months ago
A million thanks!
I give you 10 star rank in making this excellent commentary in this piece. You really nailed it! Nothing more beyond this!!! You're a very skilled poet!
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