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Jan 07, 2023
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Bone Chiller
Silence is not always golden
When it comes from the silencer
The sharpest blade celebrates
Flesh's first meeting
Every snapping sinew of rage!
Plastic ties etched in blood
Squirm, you had better not
Or your wrists
Will be ripped to bone
Do you feel like a big man now?
Stitched up lips
Upon your last breath
A liar's lament
Doused in gasoline
Keep my name out of your mouth!
Sin by sin
The clock runs down
A punishment carefully crafted
To fit every crime
Don't mess with me, if you can't do the time
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The b**** is back!
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 6 months ago
dear Carrie,
I see you have reached way down inside of you. into the dark rooms where no natural light can penetrate. the rooms there vary... some are oppressive and silent as most graves. others, you can hear screams and crying. in the worst there is praying...
I much enjoyed being taken there. wonderful language and imagery, oh the imagery...
*ever, eddy styx
*hugs, Cat
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
Hi Cat
Yes- i dug deep, into the cellars and hell rooms of my mind. I have been oppressive and silent for quite a while. I am glad you could hear the screams, however, praying wasn't an option as his lips are stitched shut before I drown him in gasoline. :)
Candlewitch
2 years 6 months ago
and...
may he burn brightly and give off warmth, lol!
Geezer
2 years 6 months ago
Now, that...
is what I'm talking about! The boys are dancing a jig! Killer is anticipating the end
and it will be spectacular! The twisting and muffled screams! She is magnificent and she is welcome to visit the boys for the weekend and barbecue anytime! They can cook something up! LoL
~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
You asked....
And Bone Chiller was all too happy to deliver! I think she is looking forward to hanging out with the boys for a weekend! I heard she's good at chill n grill!
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
Murderous
I was wondering if we’d see some of this again. Of course it’s not my predilection but I enjoy when other writers tackle it. I don’t watch horror or read that genre so it’s always a good place to look for different subject matter. Great job with this as usual.
Tim
Hey, I starting going through and listening to Clutch. As it turns out I’m fairly familiar with their first album. High School, piece of shit cars, driving around listening to cassette tapes. When I listen to that album I was transported to my buddy’s ‘86 Monte Carlo where he played that album on repeat for half my junior year. I’m actually kinda fond of the newer recordings as I find the vocal style more to my liking. The early recordings have a far reaching influence on many of my current favorite bands especially that guitar tone. Overwound pickups and Marshall amps. I’ll keep going through their stuff. Excellent lyrics of course!
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
I'm a big fan
Of their older stuff. Much of it they don't play live anymore due to the aggressive nature and the pits were getting to violent for the singers liking. The lyrics are fantastic and they are absolutely wonderful live. What is your favorite song so far? I have a few.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
Struck Down
I haven’t analyzed the lyrics yet but the riff is really catchy. I played it like 3 times yesterday and today. I’m always looking for stuff that’s new to me. There was another one that’s was a face melter but I didn’t catch the name of the track so I’ll have to wait until it comes around again. I’m enjoying it all though.
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
I have a few
Binge and Purge, Effigy, X-ray Visions, Rock n Roll Outlaw, Spacegrass, The Regulator...those are just a few. I'm also a fan of Far Country which is an absolute banger.
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Bone Chiller
Hello, Carrie,
Whoa! Definitely chilled me to the bone - well done!
L
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
Thank you L
Mission accomplished!
Dreamwarrior
2 years 5 months ago
Damn! This was so full of
Damn! This was so full of rage, and revenge, that it made for a devastatingly awesome piece to contemplate. I've written a couple like this myself, and so I can relate to the dark place where this comes from. But, it's better to do as you have done, and as I have done. Take and turn that hurt, that sharp pain into something constructive that may help lessen those stinging inner-wounds somewhat. I hope that was the case for you after writing this, my friend.
Regardless, it is one truly grand and imaginative work.
I loved it.
Thanks for sharing.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Glad you enjoyed
Yes...there is a certain amount of catharsis in releasing such emotions onto paper. Thank you for your comment.
Dreamwarrior
2 years 5 months ago
Rose
It was my pleasure.
Clentin
2 years 3 months ago
I loved your poem. Many times
I loved your poem. Many times I have had thoughts like this, they scare me as well but still are in our emotions real or not
RoseBlack
2 years 3 months ago
Thank you
I am glad you enjoyed this..of course this is fictional for writing purposes but I think most of us have really wanted retribution after being horribly wronged at some point.
Leslie
2 years 3 months ago
I hope you got it all out ...
I know very little about poetic form, but this was an awesome delivery of intense, extremely intense emotion.
I loved it also! I totally undersood it, i think, but don't really know why. Great job!
RoseBlack
2 years 3 months ago
Hi John
Thank you for the read and comment...please feel free to check out my other works. There is a lot of this type of work mixed in. Glad you enjoyed!
Leslie
2 years 3 months ago
Hello Rose,
I'll call you rose if that's okay. I am impressed by the intensity of your writing and your ability to
put those feelings into words. If you don't want me to call you Rose, tell me. It's an easy mistake
to rectify!
RoseBlack
2 years 3 months ago
Rose is fine
Thank you for the praise! I look forward to seeing how you like some of my other pieces. You are a fine writer yourself and I enjoy your contributions on the site immensely. Thanks again!