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HP
Heather Perry
Jan 07, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

New Member Contest January 2023

(Read More...)

Feeling Like Johnny Cash

I must be feeling like Johnny Cash
cause I might hurt myself today

End all my pain and suffering
end it all today

But in my heart I feel like
I am way too young to die

So I'll just turn on that sad
sad song and hurt down deep inside

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

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Comments

Rula

Rula

2 years 6 months ago

Hello Heather

and a warm welcome to Neopoet. A good first submission and a good decision that you've decided to take. I think you wanted "too" rather than "to" in I am way too young to die.

just a tiny thing.Other than this I really hope that you'd stick around so that we'll read more of your poetry,

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 6 months ago

hello Heather,

I think poetry and music are a big part of our lives. some songs speak to us like no others. it feels like they were written just for us! Please stick around and get to know your fellow poets here on Neopoet. if you do, you could discover that you are not alone and many understand you. welcome!

*hugs, Cat

H

Heather Perry

2 years 6 months ago

Thank you

Thank you for your comment and I plan on sticking around and get to know my fellow poets

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 6 months ago

Welcome to the site

Your poem is as personal and haunting as Johnny Cash’s version of Trent Reznor’s song “Hurt”. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. Look into that small correction Rula pointed out, she right on that.

I hope you continue to write and post here with us. I’ve enjoyed an tremendous amount of support and critique from our members.

Tim

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 6 months ago

Hi Heather

Short but intense. I am very glad you decided to stay with us as I look forward to reading more of your work! Great job! Love the reference to Johnny Cash!