New Member Contest January 2023

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Remembering

I have been here many times
With you and without
But always remembering that places
Mean little except to bridge memories
Of the past with those of the
Present

Your presence lingers in the
Sights and sounds of what
Is today and what was
Yesterday

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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Comments

Geezer

2 years 5 months ago

I understand...

this perfectly, as my good friend died recently. My window where I work at my computer faces the side of his house, and I look at it every day. Some days I have to shut my blinds, so that I can't see it anymore and others, I need to look. A great poem that helps to ease the pain. I wouldn't change a thing. ~ Geezer.
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Clentin

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you very much. Still

Thank you very much. Still trying to write several different types of poems. I would greatly accept any suggestions, advice etc.

Clentin

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you. I will try some

Thank you. I will try some various changes as you suggest. I am looking at several comments and am trying to see how I can possibly apply several suggestions into a revision or maybe even a totally new poem.

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

I both agree and disagree with Mark

It could be made into a very tight poem and I’d enjoy that however I do rather enjoy what you have here as it is. There are a few lines I find cumbersome but I like the meaning of what you wrote a lot. I leave it to you if you wanna play around with it. Try and think about where you want me to pause as a reader and put the line breaks there. Which I think you done to my satisfaction for most of them already.

I like the ideas this poem conveys
Tim