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Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Jan 09, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Bearing The Brunt by: eddy styx

ripped away
forcefully taken
from the warmth of
loving arms, forsaken

cold rushing in like wind
whistling over a frozen lake.
many howling miles
no woodland to break...

the cold like razor fingers
wind chill twenty-two minus zero.
in my head, I hear her calling
crying, reaching arms out for a hero.

tortured mind picturing
his abuses raked over her person
probing hands tainting her being,
can't keep my thoughts away, they worsen.

smelling the smoke from a campfire
I forge ahead through snow and frost
urging me onward, up ahead I see the light
If I find her sullied, spoilt, his life will be the cost!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: thank you Onyinechi for the new title! * eddy styx

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Seren

Seren

2 years 6 months ago

Dear Cat

I have missed Eddy, I am going love catching up. So, the title? I don't think it fits. I do think that it's a very good draft. I will be interested to come back and see what you do with this one. I will be back ;)

i think the line "HIs abuse visited on her person" needs a little tweaking, I think given the subject matter and the seriousness of the poem "visited" doesn't fit the narrative

love and hugs J x

Seren

Seren

2 years 6 months ago

Dear Cat

I really like the update <3

Love & hugs J x

Seren

Seren

2 years 6 months ago

Cat

You are most welcome Sweets; I am chuffed I helped.

hugs & love (x)

Seren

Seren

2 years 6 months ago

Awwww

hon that means a lot coming from you (((HUGS)))

love you too <3

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 6 months ago

I agree with Seren

The title doesn't fit the poem in any way. Should think towards the subject matter of the piece.

Well-wrought with creative beauty! Nice job!
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 6 months ago

dear Jackweb,

that was the title I changed to. do you have any suggestions?

thanks, eddy styx

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 6 months ago

I like...

Bearing The Brunt and will change the title in a bit. thank you Onyinechi.

thanks, eddy styx

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 6 months ago

dear Kat,

my name is eddy styx. I am the Male alter ego of Cat's. I write dark poetry. very often I am the villain who perpetrates dark deeds to draw them to light and remind careless folk that it is a dark and dangerous world we live in, thank you for reading and commenting on my poetry, fair lady.

*ever, eddy styx