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Jan 12, 2023
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Rose tinted lenses
glasses on
stepping out onto the pavement
shuffling feet to bide your way
into the known everyday
passengers
encountered on the tube
keep company for a while
they pile on top of other files
lost and found
all discarded things frown on your person
as they are visited and rummaged through
stealing whatever remained true
laughter
to drown out a futile sort of nostalgia
friends, family, other figures
and flowery reminders that still linger
on the fringes
of memory and imagination
which one of them had dominated?
and light within had terminated
indefinitely
as far as the mind can stretch
for time frames lose their power
since sight prolongs hope with every hour
to the garden
of your Eden once more you return
but Beelzebub lurks just underground
determining that to him you're bound
the root of sin
lies in your vision
the lens he carries before your eyes
is tinted the colour of your lies
thorns
surface to protect the flower
but you're blind to his natural defences,
you see him through rose tinted lenses
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
Logic
I think that there is a consistency to the logic for sure. You state a concept and then put that concept to a series of questions to illustrate how perception changes outcomes. Then you come out and make that statement to bring it all home. The repetition of the rose tinted lenses finishes it up nicely.
Super job
Tim
Candlewitch
2 years 6 months ago
dear poet,
Good title and subject matter. excellent flow...the ending is fantastic. these are my favorite lines:
to the garden
of your Eden once more you return
but Beelzebub lurks just underground
determining that to him you're bound
*nice to meet you, Cat