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Jan 12, 2023
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Sleeping Trees
Do not awaken sleeping trees,
who nod with ease
in quiet dreams
beneath moon beams,
whose roots rest within frozen earth,
their warmth, their berth,
while winter sighs
sweet lullabies
they shall remain in slumber deep,
in peaceful sleep,
amid the glow
of winter snow
***
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Learning new structures. This is a Minute poem: 12 lines, 3 quatrains each containing 8,4,4,4 syllables, aabb, ccdd, eeff rhyme scheme. I love the serenity of unveiled quiet trees in wintertime.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
RoseBlack
2 years 6 months ago
Beautiful
Such a gentle, quiet poem. I can see the trees sleeping soundly, waiting to start fresh in the spring. Vivid imagery and good flow! Well done.
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Carrie,
I could sit with trees a very long time, and still hesitate to walk away. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L
Jackweb
2 years 6 months ago
Beautiful imagery!
Your title has drawn my attention to the poem by personifying the trees to be asleep. Wow, that's a very beautiful one! I can visualize tree orchards planted in a grid formation looking beautiful and the smell of fruits ripening in the branches. It's serenity draws inspirational thoughts. Excellent piece, well articulated delivery.
.
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Jackweb,
I thought I'd try a new rhyme scheme and poetry structure. Winter trees take on an entirely different personality - quiet and resting. Sleeping.
Thank you so much!
Lav
lovedly
2 years 6 months ago
we all need to rest
human or nature
even trees live years longer than us
as families
they each other shield
we yield
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Lovedly,
Yes, winter is the time for rest and reflection. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to do that. Thank you for reading. I always enjoy your stopping by.
Lav
lovedly
2 years 6 months ago
Kindness
I feel elated when you all read me
thanks
you are creative Lav
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Thank you, Lovedly,
...so very much! I'm glad we share this love of poetry.
Rula
2 years 6 months ago
A perfect
Minute poem dear Lavender and it enhances the beauty of your theme.. I am happy you decided to give it a try. Simply gorgeous!
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Rula,
So good to see you! I'm trying to spread my poetic wings a bit and learn a few unusual structures. The theme seemed to follow this poetry pattern. I know you love structured poetry, so your comments mean a lot.
Thank you!
L
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Good morning, Kat,
Welcome to Neopoet! So kind of you to take the time to read and comment.
Thank you!
Lavender
Geezer
2 years 6 months ago
It seems...
to me that you have a natural affinity for trees, as I do. I think of trees as living beings that just are immensely slower than us.
Kind of like "Ents". I love everything about this piece. Only thing is... I would change the word [among], to amid. ~ Geez.
.
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Geezer,
Yes, trees are our very best companions and friends. Very much like your suggestion and will gratefully use it.
Thank you!
L
Candlewitch
2 years 6 months ago
wow!
I don't know how you do all that counting and still have it come out as soul-stirring poetry! I just wait until I feel the pull in my gut, then lay it down. you have a knack for wonderful poetry while I'm just a hack, lol!
*hugs, Cat
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Cat,
Pretty certain you are not "just a hack" - you are too funny! When it comes to nature, I think we can all write with ease by just simply absorbing its silence. Thank you for your generous comments!
L
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
I love it
I’m going to try this format today. I haven’t written anything yet and the normal patterns I use are getting stale.
Obviously splendid poetry as usual. You paint with words.
Tim
Lavender
2 years 6 months ago
Hello, Tim,
It's challenging to explore different types of poetry, and a lot of fun. Thank you, as always, for reading and commenting!
L
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Lavender
This is absolutely beautiful poetry!! I can't tell you enough how much I love this one. I am so glad I picked this one to read. Such a gift on a difficult night. Thank you.
Brava!!!
Kindest regards Seren/Jayne
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Hello, Jayne,
Thank you so much for your generous words. Nature has graceful moments in the wintertime. I appreciate your visit!
L
scribbler
2 years 5 months ago
I had no idea
this was a particular form. You made it feel completely unforced
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Hi, Stan,
Because of the subject, it was pure delight to watch as it took shape. I'm always grateful when you visit!
L