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Neopoem Of The Week January 22nd to January 28th 2023
Ring on My Hand
Three-fifteen A.M. on the clock
Rain tickles down the windowpane
I should be sound asleep right now
But I guess you could say I'm going insane
It isn't because you're my true love
A realization just hit me in the face
Baby, I've never been truly in love with you
I suppose it just felt like that was the case
You were the only guy in my lonely life
For over six and a half endless years
I remember all the times we fought and yelled
Or all the times your smile held back tears
Boy, you were all I ever knew, so it broke my heart
When I found out another girl was in your arms
I thought I loved you, but you were the only one there
That realization just hit me like I'm seeing stars
Don't get me wrong, you hold a very special spot in my heart
And I will always love you, but only as a childhood friend
I'm going to find someone who holds me, kisses me, and loves me
I realize, you aren't really the one I want to put a Ring on My Hand
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Shelby Pryor
2 years 5 months ago
Ekaterina Alexa
Trust me, I know. Sorry if this was depressing, I just needed to get some feelings out. Guess poetry has become my punching bag lol. Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it!
Geezer
2 years 5 months ago
I almost...
didn't notice when you switched from rhyme to not rhyming, it was that smooth. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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Shelby Pryor
2 years 5 months ago
Geezer
Thank you so much, I'm glad it flowed good!
Jackweb
2 years 5 months ago
I felt
The emotions that surrounds this poem. Sometimes regrets comes at the long run in a relationship due to betrayal of trust and infidelity. This is very sad.
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Shelby Pryor
2 years 5 months ago
Jackweb
Yes, it is sad. Especially when you really believed you loved that person. Thank you so much for the comment, I really appreciate it.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
An honest write
Been there...done that....this was well executed. Good job
Shelby Pryor
2 years 5 months ago
RoseBlack
Yep. Never want to go there again lol. Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it!