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Jan 27, 2023
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Breathing Wildfires
the velvet knife
of your tongue
cut my skin
into a thousand
streamers of want
I feathered against
the unknown
a breath in the grasp
of insanity
I pooled
as ribbons on
the ground,
I was tossed to roll
aimless to reality
fire licked breasts
as thighs brushed static
into the palms of your
hands …
at first touch
is the flashback,
I burn up, a white flame
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Not sure about this one.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Seren,
such beautiful language usage...it feels diaphanous in the mind. and makes me feel the need to cry until I am dry, like "control" is no longer necessary... I bet you also know what "feather touching" is like, at your fingertips rooted in your belly! I loved the title, too!
*love, Sis
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dearest Cat
That's exactly what I was going for. The light feather touching that turns into a wildfire.
So glad you liked it I wasn't quite sure about this one. But then I never am about most of my poems.
Love Always Sis xoxox
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Breathing Wildfires
Hello, Jayne,
"I pooled as ribbons on the ground." Such feeling in those words - a willing melting of the heart.
Thank you!
L
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Lavender
It's not easy to motion into words but that's exactly what I try to do, and I am so glad you liked those lines.
thanks again for the read its always appreciated!
Hugs Jayne
Geezer
2 years 5 months ago
Fantastic...
I feel the heat here. Nice job of steaming up the windshield! ~ Geez.
.
P.S. Inspiration from this one!
.
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dearest Bro
lol I think i may have already read what this inspired, wink wink, i think the greatest gift we can give each other as poets writers whatever we are, is the gift of inspiration.
so happy that you liked it
love and higgliest bugs Sis xox
scribbler
2 years 5 months ago
I'll be right back
after a cold shower lol. You might try ribbons instead of streams. For some reason it just seems better fit to me
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Bro
I have already used the word ribbons in this one and i was trying not to be repetitive, I will give that some thought and see what else i maybe able to come up with, hope it was a nice HOT shower lol!!!
love and hugs Sis
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Mark
hahaha I am happy you liked it, I will be round reading some poetry tonight or today sometime its 2.33am here ATM, I will see if I get tired or not. It's been a huge week.
hugs Jayne
lovedly
2 years 5 months ago
Just WoWeeeeee
I know the very touch of fingers ...sliding down a spine ....
women --simply crash like butterflies in a golden mine ...
once entwined .....
Gorgeous words selection
Sis
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Ello Lovely
Very happy you liked it my friend, hugs.
love & hugs Sis